


Nightingale

by AdamsGlambert



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Kris Allen (Musician)
Genre: Attempted Rape, Dark fic, Gang, Love, Mental Health Issues, Suicide Attempt, Violence, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2017-06-16
Packaged: 2018-01-01 21:24:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1048729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdamsGlambert/pseuds/AdamsGlambert
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam's 20th birthday dawns on him, making him an official member of his family's gang. With little to nonexistent hope left, he starts to accept the life that he was forced into. That's until, the new guy, Kris, comes barging into his life and starts to show him the brighter part of life, but like everything else in his life, it seems too good to be true.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized I'll probably never be satisfied with my work but I miss sharing my work so here we go! Hello new readers and for old readers, I really hope you'll give this new spin on my story a chance!

Adam’s POV:

“Come on Adam. You can do better than that!” Neil said as he threw another punch in my direction. I swiftly ducked and bounced from side to side gently as I put my fists up. 

“We’ve been at this for hours. When are we going to take a break?” I groaned as I panted from the vigorous workout. 

He put his fists down and seemed like he was going to call it a day when he suddenly charged at me, knocking me onto my feet with his legs. My back slammed against the floor and I let out a surprised cry. 

“Never let your fucking guard down Adam.” He said angrily as he grabbed his towel. 

I groaned as I tried to get up after having the wind knocked out of me. “What’s your fucking problem? You’ve been in a pissy mood all day.” I ripped off one of the boxing gloves I was wearing and chucked it at him.

He wiped his face with his towel and tossed mine, with a little more force than usual, in my direction. 

“Let’s just go home.” He sighed and started walking towards the exit of the gym, which we got to go to free of charge as long as Neil fixed the owner’s car from time to time. He was always nice to us for some reason. It didn’t seem like it was out of fear, but instead, genuine kind-heartedness. 

I stood there for about a minute more trying to catch my breath and figure out what was eating at my brother. He was never that hard on me or aggressive with me during our workouts. 

I walked out of the building and jogged to Neil’s car since he looked impatient. He scowled at the road as we were driving home. I noticed the vein sticking out on his neck, which only came out when he was seriously stressed. I just stared at the moon shining in the dark sky. I learned to let Neil come to me instead of trying to pry it out of him. Although we were really close, he was still a very guarded person. We were alike in that way. 

I sighed as he pulled into our driveway and heard loud music coming from inside the house. Even though it was a daily occurrence and it wasn’t surprising, it still annoyed me. I just wanted to come home to peace and quiet after a long day. 

As I opened the door, the familiar smell of weed and cigarettes smacked me and nearly knocked me on my knees. I coughed and let Neil in before closing the door. I tried not to breathe in the smoke too much, even though the damage must have already been done from smelling that almost every night. 

I scanned the familiar scene I came home to every night. Beer bottles scattered everywhere, my dad and the crew everywhere in the living room, random wasted girls dancing and being taken advantage of, music blaring. I felt my muscles tense in anger and quickly went to follow Neil into the kitchen. 

He was already moving around the kitchen grabbing various things and putting them together like it was nothing. He always had a look on his face when he made something in the kitchen— serenity, focus, and a bit of excitement that most people wouldn't notice but I knew how to read him. Although he got a lot of crap for it, he loved to cook. I assumed he cooked a lot with my mother but he never liked to talk about it, or her for that matter.

“I don’t feel like mayo tonight.” I mumbled as I watched him making our sandwiches. 

“I know. I didn’t put any on.” He said and gave me my plate before grabbing his and walked out of the room. It always amazed me (and also creeped me out) how he could read me like that. But I guess it’s a gift he picked up from taking care of me for a majority of my life.

I hopped backwards onto the counter and started eating when the door suddenly swung open. I looked up with a mouthful of the sandwich to see a girl who looked around 21 years old stumble inside. It made me sad to see these girls let themselves get taken advantage of. They had no self respect. She looked at me and smiled in a way that was supposed to be seductive but she was too drunk to pull it off. 

“Well hello.” She smirked and made her way over to me. I swallowed my bite of food and looked at her carefully. She suddenly got too close for comfort and slipped her hands under my shirt. I put my plate down next to me and grabbed her wrists and pulled her hands from my chest.

“Knock it off.” I said and she started pouting. 

“You have an amazing body.” She purred and tried to slip her hands under my shirt once again. 

“No.” I said and pulled her hands away from me once again. I quickly got on my feet before she could try anything else. “Go home, you’re wasted. Take care of yourself for once in your life sweetheart.” 

I heard her huff angrily as I grabbed my sandwich and made my way upstairs and into my room. I plopped onto my bed and finished eating when I heard the water from the shower shut off. Moments later my door opened and Neil poked his head through, water dripping from his hair onto the side of his face, hand holding onto the towel that was wrapped around his waist.

“You can shower now.” He said before a small, forced smile. “Good night bud.”

“Good night.” I sighed quietly as he closed my door. 

I hated seeing him like that. Sure, we were rarely all sunshine and rainbows but seeing him in that mood without knowing how to help bothered me. Maybe tomorrow will be better, I thought to myself as I made my way to the bathroom. I froze and a shiver went up my spine when I realized what the next day was — my birthday.

 

* * *

“Adam wake up.” Neil said as he shook me, drawing me from a deep sleep. 

I groaned into my pillow and refused to move. 

“Come on Adam wake up.” He shook me harder. I opened one eye to look at him and he gave me a slight smile, again not convincing. “Happy Birthday kiddo.”

That statement would have made anyone else smile and be excited to start the day. Unfortunately, I wasn’t like most people. I tried not to look too anxious for Neil’s sake. If it were possible, he was more overwhelmed than I was. 

He stood up from sitting next to me on my bed so I could have room to get up.

I sighed. “Neil..”

He immediately avoided eye contact with me. “I’ll just meet you downstairs.” He quickly left my room without another word. 

I quickly put on a shirt and made my way down the stairs where everyone was waiting for me. I sighed and walked closer.

“There he is!” My uncle said in a sickeningly excited tone. 

Everyone looked at me annoyingly since they all were hung over from the night before and wanted nothing more than to sleep it off. Neil appeared from the kitchen with a beer, sitting in a seat farthest away from everyone, and looked away from anyone’s eyes.

They pulled up two chairs and a small table in the middle of the living room, one chair on either side of the table, and Pete, one of them, came and sat down and set everything up. I looked at the tattoo gun he placed on the table and shivered, trying to keep my poker face. It wasn’t the idea of getting a tattoo that frightened me— it was the meaning behind it. It was my chains and shackles to a life I never wanted.. but it was inevitable. 

“Now you’re becoming a man.” My uncle said and patted my shoulder roughly.

I mentally glared at him in disgust. How was this being a man? He and the other people in this were cowards. They were low-life scum. The funny thing is that I almost became just like them, in the way I acted that is, but now technically I was becoming one of them whether I wanted to or not.

They always told me that turning 20 was going to be the best thing in my life, that I would be one of them as if that was something everyone aspired to be. I actually wanted to become like them for a short while, but that was an idiotic 13 year old thinking. I dressed like them, acted like them, talked like them, did anything to be just like them to try to make my dad proud of me somehow. But that changed when…. It just did. Thank all the gods that Neil was there to bring me back on the right track… well the closest I could come to that.

My uncle is the ‘top dog’ of the most feared gang in San Diego. He and all of these other assholes in my house were part of this gang. The gang they are forcing me to join on this day, my 20th birthday. Sure I was always technically part of it since it’s the life I grew into, but this day and this horrible tattoo they were putting on my body was the chain that linked me to them for the rest of my miserable life. 

I didn’t flinch when he put the tattoo gun to my wrist. I’ve felt far worse pain than that. I glanced at Neil who was looking more pained than ever as his eyes were locked on the design that was being placed on my body. His pained gaze was more agonizing than the needle could ever feel. He sighed shakily and took another large mouthful of the beer he was drinking. 

Although only 6 years older than me, he was truly my father figure. My father didn’t want anything to do with us since my mom left. Well, I think he never wanted anything to do with us ever. He tolerated Neil more than he did me. For some reason I never figured out, he hated me for as long as I could remember. 

After my mom left when I was 5, my father became more hateful and just plain evil, which I didn’t think was possible since he was the most cruel person I ever saw (well when I was at that age). He was the polar opposite of my mom. I never understood why a woman like her would ever be with a person like him. She was the most beautiful, gentle women I had ever seen. I didn’t know much about her minus the few faint memories that were stored in my brain. No one liked to talk about her, and every time I would bring her up, I would get yelled at or physically hurt somehow. She must have been misguided and desperate for any type of ‘love’. But I learned from an early age that love, like in those idiotic romance films or novels, didn’t exist. 

The only type of love that I felt in my life was for Neil. He was my best friend, my big brother, my partner in crime (both literally and not). He took care of me and loved me when no one else did. He didn’t see me as a mistake like others did. We were a team. That’s why he looked so pained. He never wanted this life for me. He told me one night when we were much younger that he was going to do everything he could to get me out of this life before any of this could happen. I had been crying after my normal, almost routine, beating by my father, and Neil just held me in his arms, rocking slowly, whispering that he would find a way to get us out of there. But evidently things didn’t go his way.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when I felt something being wrapped around my arm to protect the tattoo. I watched as Pete wrapped it carefully as if it was his art project. I always believed that if he hadn’t gotten involved with my uncle, he would’ve been an amazing artist, but instead he decided to become this. He threw my arm back on the table and walked away without another word. 

“Are you done?” Neil asked suddenly as he jumped up from his seat. I nodded and looked down at the tattoo. “Ok let’s go.”

“Hey hey hey what’s the big rush?” My uncle said as Neil rushed me out of my seat. “This is a big day for Adam.”

“I’m sure he knows all of the bullshit that he’s now in, alright?” Neil growled.

I stood up immediately when Neil was struck to the ground with a loud groan. 

“You watch your fucking mouth when you talk to me, do you fucking understand me? I will take you out regardless if you're family or not.” He spat at Neil and kicked him one final time.

Neil got up and was about to charge after him but I grabbed him and pulled him into the kitchen before anything else escalated. 

“You ok?” I asked as I got a wet towel. 

“Fuck him and fuck all of this. I’m fucking tired of this!” 

I handed him the towel to wipe his lip which now had blood on it. “Calm down Neil. It’s ok.”

“It’s not ok Adam! I told you that I would get you out of it! Now look where we fucking are.” He punched the cabinet. 

“There’s nothing you could’ve done.”

He sighed and gripped the sink tightly as he tried to calm down. After a minute or so his breathing went back to normal. “Sorry…. It’s your birthday we should be celebrating.”

I scoffed lightly. “There’s nothing to celebrate.. unless you want to celebrate the fact that it’s one year closer to death.” I joked half-heartedly.

“Oh shut up. Go get ready and we’ll go out for lunch and maybe find something interesting to do after.”

“Don’t you have to go to work?”

“I think I can spare a day to spend with my kid brother.”

“But-“

He threw the towel at me, which I quickly knocked out of the way before it hit me. “I said go change kid.” He said while smiling.

“I’m not a kid.” I mumbled while leaving the kitchen. 

Everyone in the living room went back to their normal daily routine, drinking to get rid of the hangover they were suffering with in result of the previous day of drinking all day. Every time I looked at them, I hoped and hoped I wouldn’t end up like them. If I had it my way, I would be far, far, far away from them, but speaking realistically, that was just a dream.

I quickly jogged up to my room so they didn’t see me. I didn’t need to deal with them at that moment. I couldn’t take any more of them that day. I put my hair in the sink to wet it before I could blow dry it and style it the way I wanted. After I was satisfied with the result, I quickly put on some fresh jeans and t-shirt. 

“Let’s go.” I told Neil as I made my way downstairs.

“Where you guys headed?” A very stoned friend of my dad asked. 

“None of your damn business.” Neil replied while opening the door for me. 

I walked outside and heard the door slam behind me. 

“Let’s walk. It’s a nice day out.” Neil said after looking at his car.

I knew the real reason he wanted to walk was because he didn’t want to waste his gas since he barely had enough to make it to work. He was the only one working in this… ‘family’ and it was hard to provide for all of those free-loaders. I wanted to get a job but there was no way anyone would think about hiring me considering who I was and my ‘reputation’. It made me feel guilty.

We were walking in a comfortable silence, just enjoying the bright sunny day when a big moving truck caught my eye. Great, more people I have to deal with. I was about to ask Neil if he knew anything about the new people when someone caught my eye. There was a guy helping unload boxes from the truck. He looked around my age group, maybe a few years younger, about a head shorter than me, his short-ish brown hair was styled up, his face was breath-taking from what I could see. He was gorgeous. He was about to grab another box when he must have felt my eyes on him and turned in my direction. He looked a little surprised at first to find me staring at him. 

“Adam!” Neil said loudly and smacked me upside my head.

My attention was turned away from the new guy and I rubbed the back of my head. “What the fuck man??”

“I’ve been saying your name over and over again!” He said and I turned to glance at the new guy, who was no longer there. “Who is he?”

I looked at Neil confused. “What?”

“Who is the dude you were so intensely staring at?” He said and I saw some concern in his eyes.

“I.. I don’t know?”

“Seems like you want to get to know him.” He sighed. “Adam we’ve talked about this..”

“I don’t know him and I don’t want to get to know him alright?” 

We walked into a local diner type of food joint and I could immediately sense the tension that suddenly engulfed everyone when they saw us, specifically me. Neil gave me a sort of comforting look as we got past their critical looks and made our way to an empty table. A waitress, hands holding two menus and accompanied with the manager, made their way towards our table. She kept her professional manner as she set the long plastic covered menus in front of us.

“Listen. I’m fine with you eating here but one sign of trouble and you’re out, alright?” The manager said sternly, slightly laced with the fear of the possibility of us getting upset, eyes keeping drifting towards me. It was obvious what he was implying. I tensed slightly.

“We just want to get something to eat alright?” Neil said annoyed. He was always protective of me and he could tell when I was upset or uncomfortable.

“Enjoy your meal.” The manager walked off without another word.

It always bothered me how I was the outcast of our town. Sure I made some really idiotic mistakes when I was younger, but I changed for the most part. Everyone feared me, which seemed like a fun thing at first because I thought I had some immunity, I guess you could say, from being messed with but it got old really fast. You can only imagine being looked at like some monster by everyone around you and just feeling… alone.

“So are we going to talk about this,” I gestured towards the fresh tattoo on my arm, “or what?”

Neil had a pained look on his face that he was trying to hide but I knew him well enough to see right through the wall he was trying to put up. “Can’t we just have a nice meal in peace?”

“So you’re just going to ignore the fact that this is really happening and just hope it just magically disappears?”

He looked grateful when the same waitress approached our table and took our order. I groaned silently when girls from my old high school sat at a table near us. I hated seeing them because it made me feel like a failure for dropping out, but I had to do it; my grades were horrible, I saw no need for it since my future was already set in stone- becoming one of them, and I would never be good enough. 

Neil must have noticed by discomfort with having them around. “So, I got you a job.”

I looked up. “Really? Where?”

He took a sip of his drink. “At the garage. The boss wants more workers so I got you a spot.”

The constant feeling of guilt started to go away. “Thanks man.” I smiled.

“Have you thought about getting your GED?”

I scoffed. “I wasn’t good enough there, what makes you think I’d be good enough trying to get my GED?” 

“You can do it. Then after that you could enroll in a college around here.” He said and sipped his soda.

“What about me not being good enough don’t you..” I drifted off when the same mystery boy walked in. 

“That’s the hot guy that just moved here!” One of the girls whispered excitedly and obnoxious giggling followed. 

“He’s definitely going to be mine.” Another irritating girl giggled.

He stood there ordering something to go, I assumed. He stood with his hands in his front pockets and looked around the place curiously. My breath hitched when we made eye contact once again. He didn’t glare at me or look at me like I was some freak like the others did. What he did shocked me beyond belief.

He smiled at me.

I cleared my throat and suddenly my cup became very interesting. 

“Ok you’re not subtle at all.” Neil said and I looked up at him slowly. “You’re actually creepy with all of the staring.” He half teased. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I mumbled and was grateful in the same way Neil was when our food came, distracting us from the topic I didn’t want to talk about. 

I ate my food quickly to try to suppress some strange feeling I hadn’t felt, or tried not to feel, in a long time. Neil looked at me in a very knowing way. At times like that it irritated that he knew me so well that he could tell what was going on with me with just a look, or even without having to look at me. 

 

* * *

“Let’s go.” My uncle said and kicked my foot while I was sitting on the couch.

“What, where?”

“Your unofficial initiation. You’re one of us now might as well start now.” He said and everyone got up. 

“Hold up-“ Neil got up quickly.

“I don’t want to hear a fucking word come out of your damn mouth!” My father yelled when Neil tried to object to me going with them. 

I intervened before Neil lost his temper and gotten himself hurt. “Neil it’s fine. Let’s just go.” I said and he gave a look meaning not to test him. “I’ll be fine. Come on.” 

I gave him a reassuring look and he sighed angrily, knowing he couldn’t stop this even if he wanted to.

Everyone piled their cars while Neil took me in his. “We can just sneak off somewhere else. Fuck them.” Neil growled.

“You know what’s going to happen if you do that.” I said, remembering the last time Neil did something to make them really mad. The memory of him coughing up blood on the floor as he rolled onto his side, crying out in pain was something that would always be stuck in my mind no matter how much I tried to forget it.

“I don’t care.”

“Well I do. I’m not going to let you do something stupid and get your ass beat just for me. Let’s just go. It probably won’t even be that bad. It’s not like I haven’t seen anything like this before.” 

Neil kept quiet and gripped the steering wheel tightly and he glared at the road. We stopped on the side of an empty road when we saw the other cars stopped. Neil sighed as he got out of the car and I followed.

“Little punk ass bitch!” The sounds of fighting and groaning got louder as we approached them.

They were all ganging up on some guy who looked familiar. He cried out in pain when they all started kicking him. Once I got a good look of his face, now having blood dripping down various places, I recognized him from one of their… our rival gangs. They held him down on his knees, his head hanging down from pain and exhaustion.

“Come on Adam.” Pete said and tossed his gun to me. 

I caught the gun and looked at the guy who was too prideful to ask to spare his life, but I could see it in his eyes. I looked at him with no emotion for a few seconds before kneeing him in his face, breaking his nose, and dismantling the gun and tossing the parts on the floor. I couldn’t do it. I didn’t care who he was or what he did. All I thought about was the look on my mother’s face if she ever found out I killed someone. He laid there with no energy to move as I stepped over him.

“What the fuck Adam?! Finish the job!”

“Fuck you.” I spat at them 

“If you want to be part of us, you will finish the job right now!” My uncle stepped out of his car.

“I said fuck you.” I glared at him and walked back to the car, closing my eyes and leaning my head back against the seat.

I could hear their muffled fighting about me not doing what they wanted me to. After a short while later, I opened my eyes to see Neil walking back to the car. 

“Well you’re in a lot of shit.” He sighed while turning on the car. I leaned my head against the window and watched the floor pass by quickly as he started driving. “It’s ok that-“

“Can you just..” I cut him off. “I don’t want to talk about it alright?”

“Alright alright.” He said. “They want us to go with them somewhere. I’ll make sure you’re safe.”

“I don’t need you to protect me.” I mumbled with my chin in my hand as I leaned against the door.

He scoffed. “Just because you’re no longer a teenager now doesn’t mean you’re an independent adult. You need me and you know it.” He chuckled slightly.

“Whatever.”

We kept driving, following the cars of the others, and we approached a familiar house. It was the ‘headquarters’ of the gang my uncle hated, the one to whom the unfortunate man belonged to. Their house looked similar to mine usually did, people everywhere, music blasting- a party. We pulled up slowly in front of their house, on the opposite side of the street (keeping our distance just in case they wanted to start something), and people outside immediately noticed us. One man kept looking at us intently before running off inside to warn someone. Suddenly the music stopped and a large, mean looking man came out of the house.

One of my uncle’s men opened a door of the car, putting everyone on the lawn on high alert, and pushed the the beaten man out of the car, hurting him even more than he already was. When they recognized him and saw what was left of him, a natural instinct of wanting to attack filled them and they started getting their weapons out, but our men were already prepared. The sound of gunshots started filling the area as they let loose on the people on the lawn, who were running for cover. I grimaced when I saw people falling to the floor or crying out in pain as a bullet entered their arm, leg, or anywhere on their body. People started shooting at us from inside of their house. We started speeding off after they were satisfied with the damage and despair they caused to those people.

“You good?” Neil asked when we were at a safe distance from the battle ground.

“Yea.” I sighed, finally being able to breathe. No matter how many situations similar to that, that I had been part of, it always made me somewhat uneasy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment below to tell me what you think! (Ps If I made any mistakes let me know haha)


	2. New Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter for your reading pleasures!

Kris’s POV: 

“Come on Kristopher. I want to make sure everything is alright around here before I leave.” My mom said as she tried to discreetly wipe her tears away. My parents agreed to let me move in with my aunt and uncle who lived in San Diego for my second semester of my senior year. I convinced them that if I were to be going to college in California, I might as well have known the area beforehand so it wouldn’t be as big of a hassle and transition. 

“Ok mama.” I hated seeing her so sad. I knew having me move so far away from her was torture. We were a very close family. It was bitter-sweet for me to move away from my hometown and everything I knew. It made me sad and a little anxious to be so far away but I was excited to be able to start a new chapter of my life. 

“Kris can you get the rest of the boxes out of the car? I want to show your mother a few things.” My aunt, who I was going to live with from that moment on, said, gently grabbing my woeful mother to lead her into my new house. I nodded and made my way to the moving truck, which took us to their house from the airport.

I opened the door and started grabbing the remainder of the boxes which contained my possessions from back home. As I was about to start carrying them inside, I felt eyes on me. I looked up and toward the direction in which I felt them. I was somewhat startled at first when my eyes locked with the mystery eyes. They belonged to a tall boy that looked a bit older than me. He looked curious as he looked at me from head to toe, and then slightly alarmed when we made eye contact. He had a tough ‘don’t mess with me’ aura radiating from him that I could sense even from far away, but in that small moment in which we made eye contact, I saw something different hidden in his eyes. The man he was walking with looked at me in more of a cautious curiosity when he noticed the mystery boy was looking at me, and slapped him upside his head to get his attention. Well that was kind of weird. I grabbed the boxes I was originally sent to retrieve and walked into my new home. 

My parents were sitting inside talking with my aunt and uncle, going over what they thought was necessary to look after me. I set down the boxes on a table and went to go sit next to my parents, trying to make the little time we had together last. 

“Ok we should start heading out.” My father said and that only caused the tears on my mother’s face to flow down even more. We all stood up and walked outside to the front lawn in silence. 

“It’s ok mama. I’ll be ok, don’t worry. I’ll call you all the time.” I said as my mother pulled me into a strong hug. 

“Take care of yourself Kristopher and behave for your aunt and uncle ok?” My father said as he pulled me into a hug.

“Yes sir.” I smiled at both of my parents, trying to lighten the mood. I kept smiling at them as they walked to the rental car they got. My mom gave me one last smile before they drove off. I felt a sad feeling in my gut as the car left our sight. 

“Ok Kris. I’m sure you’re hungry and you want to explore around the area.” My uncle said, pulling me from my sad thoughts. “Here’s some money. There’s a diner about three blocks down that way,” he pointed in the direction he wanted me to go. “Go get some food.” He said and handed me a twenty dollar bill.

“Thank you.” I took the money from his hand and smiled at them. I started walking down the street, admiring my new home. I was excited to be in San Diego. Life was about experiencing new things and that’s what I intended on doing.

I opened the door to the nice diner and the smell of food made my stomach growl and my mouth water. The hostess gave me a welcoming smile when I approached her.

“Hello, how are you?” She gave me a wide smile, on the verge of being flirty.

“Im great. How about yourself?” I said out of habit. My momma instilled manners in me from day one. 

“Not too bad. Thanks for asking.” She smiled and grabbed a menu. “Party of one?”

“Um actually can I get it to go?” 

“Of course! What would you like?”

I gave her my order and started looking around as I waited. I felt someone’s eyes on me once again. I turned to my side and saw the same guy looking at me. He was looking at me from head to toe, well actually toe to head since his eyes were making their way up to meet mine. He seemed startled when he realized he was caught staring. He looked flustered, trying to suppress it, and I decided to smile. My momma always said giving someone a smile could drastically change someone’s day. It must’ve caught him off guard because he immediately looked down. Before I could put much thought into it, the hostess came back with my food. 

“Extra quick just for you.” She smiled.

“Thanks.” I smiled and grabbed the bag, sensing the disappointment from her as I walked out of the diner. I didn’t mean to be rude but it would’ve been more rude if I led her on. 

I walked out of the diner with the bag in my hand and decided to do a little exploring. I looked the both ways I could walk, closer to my new house or in the opposite direction, and I chose the latter. I had a feeling I was going to like this place. The friendly smiles of people passing by made me feel at home. I found a sort of a park— green grass stretching out, tall green trees, and a lake. It was empty for the most part and I decided it was a perfect place to be alone and just relax while I ate. 

I sat somewhat close to the water, stretched my legs out while I opened the bag and took my food out. I grabbed the burger I ordered and took a bite, almost moaning at the taste and smell, enjoying the peace and quiet. Suddenly, ducks emerged from the water and started getting close to me, still a bit hesitant. I smiled to myself and took a piece of bread from my burger and tossed it in their direction. More and more started coming.

“Looks like you beat me to it.” I heard an unfamiliar voice say. I turned my head to the side and saw a brown-haired girl with a couple of slices of bread in her hand. She was around my age, a bit shorter than me, and over-all pretty.

“Not at all.” I smiled. “Good thing you showed up. I was afraid I was going to have to give up my burger.”

“Oh no. I’d never let that happen!” She said dramatically. 

I chuckled. “My hero!”

She laughed. “I’m Meghan.”

“Kristopher.” I stood up to shake her hand. “Or Kris.”

“You’re Nick’s nephew aren’t you?” She asked after she let go of my hand. “He told my dad that you were coming. They’ve been like best friends since before I was born.” She explained when she noticed my confused face.

“Oh. Yea. I’m from Arkansas.”

“Explains the slight accent.” She smiled while ripping a piece of bread and tossing it towards the ducks. 

“I don’t know you’re talking about.” I said, exaggerating my natural drawl, earning another chuckle from her. 

“Cute.” 

“I try.” I teased.

A small smile appeared on her face. “Well don’t mind me. Continue with your meal.” She said and continued to toss small pieces of bread towards the large group of ducks forming. 

“I don’t mind.” I said and took another bite out of my burger.

She exhaled dramatically, as if she was holding in her breath for a long period of time. “Thank god! If there’s something you should know about me, it’s that I need to talk as much as I need to breathe.”

I chuckled. “Well great. Then this blossoming friendship will never have a boring moment.” I finished the last piece of my burger.

“Oh honey, ‘boring’ is not part of my vocabulary.” 

I chuckled while I fished my phone out of my pocket as it started ringing. “Hey Uncle Nick.”

“You doing ok?”

“Yea. I just finished eating and I made an interesting new friend.” I said, looking up at Meghan who struck a ridiculous pose.

“Oh that’s great. You should probably start heading back to the house before it gets dark. It gets a little… interesting at night around those parts. Feel free to invite your friend over.” 

“Oh ok.” I said, curious to what he meant by that. “I’ll start heading over right now.” 

“Got to go?” She said as she tossed the last piece of bread in the water to the more shy ducks.

“Yea. Do you want to come over and hang out?” I asked and stood up.

“Sure!” She said excitedly. Her explosive energy started to rub off on me and I started to feel a bit more excited than usual. I knew from that moment there would never be a dull moment when we were together. 

We started walking on the sidewalk to my uncle’s house when I sensed Meghan tense up.

“Oh lovely, they’re starting early tonight.” She mumbled as we approached a forming group on the street. Barely any cars passed through that street so they didn’t have to worry about blocking anyone, not like it seemed like they cared anyway. They looked very… not safe. There were lots of men, some young and some a bit older, carrying cases of beer and other alcohol. They had a very intimidating vibe, various tattoos scattered across their bodies and scowls on each of their mouths. I knew that having tattoos didn’t automatically mean someone was dangerous but on them, it only added to their unnerving image. 

I wasn’t buff like the men we were approaching but I still had muscle. I knew how to fight for the most part, but probably not as much as them. I put my hand on Meghan’s lower back as we got closer, pulling her a little bit closer to me and I felt her relax just a tiny bit. Music started blaring from one of the houses they spread out in front of. Women in close to no clothing started coming out and their party was beginning. I tried to move us quickly past them before they noticed us but I wasn’t quick enough.

“Hey girl.” I heard one man call after Meghan and another whistled at her. She kept her eyes looking forward, not trying to look at them and encourage them. “Damn girl. I want to tie you up and do you all night long.”

I started to get angry as they continued to whistle trying to get her attention as if she were a dog. I glared at them. I quickly realized that was a mistake when I saw some sick amusement spread across their face. A few of them nodded slightly to each other and started walking towards us. 

“Oh I’m sorry, did I hurt your feelings by talking to your little bitch?” One of them called after us. 

Both Meghan and I were taken by surprise when they caught up to us so quickly, even as we were walking faster than before. Meghan let out a surprised yelp as one of them grabbed her arm and pulled her back roughly.

“Let me go you asshole!” She tried to pull her arm out of his grasp, and using her legs to try to kick him and hurt him as much as she could, but it only fed their sick amusement when she failed to do so.

“Let her go.” I said in the toughest voice I could muster up. I’m a lover not a fighter but I’ll fight when necessary. 

“Or what?” They chuckled darkly.

 

Before I could respond, they turned their attention to a car that was pulling up behind us. I turned my head slightly, not wanting to turn away from Meghan. Two guys got out of the car and I immediately recognized them from the diner. 

“Hey Neil. Wanna help us out with these motherfuckers?”

The older one, called Neil, walked over to where we were, and the guy who stared at me earlier that day followed not too far behind him. His presence was extremely intimidating. Neil looked at me for a few seconds, glanced at the other guy discreetly with softer eyes, then his eyes met mine once again. “I’m not going to waste my time on him.” He said like I was trash.The younger one walked next to Neil, looked at me once for a second before quickly looking away. He didn’t want to look at me. 

“What do you think about this one Adam?” The man holding Meghan asked the mystery guy. “She seems like your type. You can have her after I’m done with her, as a birthday present.” He put his face to her neck and breathed in her perfume then roughly pushed Meghan into Adam’s arms. He caught her as her face almost slammed into his chest and grabbed both of her arms tightly as she started to punch at his chest to get free, her anger intensifying. He was much stronger than she was so he managed to keep her from trying to hit him with her attempts to break free.

I moved quickly to try to get her but they caught me before I could reach her. “Not so fast.”

Adam looked at me and then her with a weird expression, almost pained, but that only lasted for a second before that ‘I don’t give a fuck’ vibe came back. “Why would I do this five year old when there’s women over there.” He said and tossed her over to me before turning his attention to the asshole who spoke to him. “And I would’t go anywhere near where your dick was. You fuck everything that moves.” 

I caught Meghan before she fell to the floor, trying to make sure she was alright but at the same time keeping my eye on the rest of them just in case they tried something else to feed their sick minds. 

“Five year old my-“ Meghan started to say angrily before I quickly covered her mouth. I gave her a stern look saying to be quiet before she made things worse.

Adam walked off first, not looking at us anymore, followed by the assholes who approached us, who gave us smiles that made me feel slightly sick. Neil watched the rest of them walk away a good distance before turning to us quickly.

“There’s your out. Get out of here before you get into more shit.” He grumbled and then walked off in the direction Adam went. 

I nodded as I grabbed Meghan’s arm and started power walking to get her out of harm’s way in case they had a change of heart and decided to pursue us. “Are you ok?” I asked when we were a safe distance away from them. I looked at her up and down to make sure she wasn’t hurt in anyway.

“No I’m not okay! Those assholes should go to hell! And I don’t need anyone treating me like I’m some damsel in distress. I know how to take care of myself!” She ranted.

“I know. I wasn’t trying to protect you. I was trying to keep them from harm.” I said and her angry breathing started to diminish and she slowly smiled. 

“You’re a dork Kristopher Allen.” She said and hugged my arm and held on. I chuckled and we kept walking down the road, going home like we originally were planning. 

“Don’t tell your uncle about this. He’ll only tell my dad and I’ll get in trouble.” She said.

“Why the hell would you get in trouble?” I asked.

“Because somehow it’ll be my fault and how I was ‘asking for it’ and other dumb things like that. I don't need to hear that lecture yet again.” She rolled her eyes. 

“You can’t be serious.” I said incredulously.

“As a heart attack.” She mumbled. “He sounds like a broken record. I need to ‘stop tempting’ men to come after me.” 

“You know that’s not your fault right?” I stopped and looked at her. “None of that was your fault. They’re just sick fucks. You did nothing wrong.” I pressed.

“Yea I know Kris. I don’t listen to a word my dad says. He’s had that twisted view since…. nevermind…” She looked away. “Thank you.” She looked at me shyly.

“Come on let’s go home.” I said and we started walking again. 

We finally arrived to my new home without any other problem. We laughed about some ridiculous thing we saw on a TV show we both saw as we entered the house. 

“Hey Kris.” My uncle said while reading paperwork that was piled on the table. He looked up and put down the paper he was reading when he saw Meghan. “Oh hey Meghan.”

“Hey Nick.” She smiled and walked into the house as if it was her own and it seemed as if I was the guest instead of her but the atmosphere in the house was very comfortable and welcoming. I admired how she carried herself with such confidence and grace. 

“Please don’t be shy, make yourself at home.” I said sarcastically. 

She rolled her eyes playfully. “This house is my second home. When I wasn’t at my house, I was here.” She gracefully plopped down onto the couch in the living room as I put my jacket on the coat rack by the door. 

“Perfect, you can show me all of the cool undiscovered parts of this house.” I sat down next to her.

“You wish. I’m not showing you where I put the treasure.” She winked, causing me to laugh as I settled in more on the couch, getting even more comfortable. “So Kristopher, tell me, why did you move here? Don’t you miss home?” She asked as she leaned her elbow against the top of the couch, resting her check on her fist.

“Um yea I do miss home and my family but I wanted to venture out. Don’t get me wrong Arkansas is amazing and it’ll always have a special place in my heart, but.. I don’t know.. I wanted to get out and explore the world. What’s the fun in staying in one place for a long time when there’s a whole world you could explore? Plus I’m going to start college next semester so I wanted to get to know this area and meet new people.”

“Like me.” She smiled and flipped her hair.

I chuckled.”Yes, just like you.”

She smiled. “I think that’s a very amazing point of view you have there. It’s great that you want to make the most out of life, very admirable.”

“Why thank you.” I smiled back at her. “Are you a senior?”

“Yes I am.” She said. “I actually attend the high school you’ll be attending.” She smiled.

“Wow you’ve been stalking me huh?” I teased. “But actually I already technically graduated. I was an overachiever and finished a semester early.

“Why of course I have! What else do I have to do in this small town?” She winked, causing me to laugh. “But you’re so lucky! I wish I would have done the same. I can’t wait to graduate from those irritating assholes.”

“Wow that’s quite a positive outlook.” I laughed.

“Well it’s true! They vex me.” She said. “I can’t wait to get out of this town.”

“And do what?” I asked. 

“Dance.” She smiled. I could see happiness radiating off of her.

“Oh you dance? That’s amazing. I hope to see you dance one day.”

“We’ll see.” She smiled.

“So what about you? What’s your view of life?”

“I… Everyone..” She sighed but I just stayed quiet and patiently waited for her to continue. She looked down at her hands, somewhat shy for a second before it was replaced with a look of hope and determination. “Everyone seems to have their whole life planned out for after we graduate and they have support from that, but I don’t. I don’t know what I’m going to do or where I’m going to be. All I know is that I want to dance. My dad said it’s not a logical and realistic career and he wants me to go into something more ‘practical’. I know it’s going to be hard but I don’t care. That’s what I want. I don’t know how it’s going to play out for me. But I just simply want to be happy.” 

I smiled. “You will be.”

She opened her mouth to respond but was interrupted by my uncle. “Hey kiddo your dad wants you home.”

“Oh ok. Thanks Nick.” She said and started to get up from her seat. “Guess I gotta go.” She said and started walking towards the door. I got up and walked with her.

“I’ll walk you home.” I said and started grabbing my jacket.

“That’s sweet but I only live two doors down. You can put your cape away for tonight.” She teased. “But if it makes you feel better, you can supervise and make sure I safely enter my house.”

“Thank god.” I exhaled dramatically. 

She chuckled. “Good night Kris. I had a nice time talking to you. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yea definitely.” I smiled.

She walked down our driveway and down the sidewalk until she reached her house. She turned and waved at me before going inside. I closed the door and found my aunt and uncle standing by the couch, looking at me. 

“So Kris,” My aunt started, “Meghan is a very nice girl.”

“Uh yea she’s cool.” I said, not sure with where they were going with the sudden conversation. 

“Do you like her?” My uncle asked.

I looked at him, not a clue at what he was trying to imply, until his facial expression gave it away. He looked somewhat… proud? “Uh we’re just friends.” They looked at me as if they knew something I didn’t.

“Ok.” He said, still unconvinced. “Good night.”

“Good night.” I said and walked past them to the stairs so I could quickly leave that awkward situation and go to bed. 

I opened the door to my new room and a noise that was between a sigh and groan escaped my mouth when I saw all of the boxes I needed to unpack. Those boxes could wait until morning, I thought to myself. Maneuvering myself between the maze of boxes and suitcases, I took off my shirt and jeans and climbed into bed. Judging from that day, I immediately knew moving to San Diego would be an interesting chapter in my life, but there was a feeling deep inside me that couldn’t figure out if it would be a good or bad ‘interesting’. I laid there in the dark, trying to push that somewhat eery feeling away, and eventually drifted off into a deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment/Kudos! It makes me happy to hear back from you guys!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter! :)

Adam’s POV: 

I tried to push away the feeling of discomfort slowly slithering up my back as Neil opened the door to the mechanic garage he worked in, Allen’s Auto. It wasn’t the fact that I was going to be working that make me uncomfortable- it was the fact that I had to be around people that clearly hated me. It’s not as if they tried to hide it as they were pulled away from their conversations and chewing of their lunch to glare at me as I passed by. As much as it pained me, I couldn’t blame them for them being repulsed by my presence. It was my fault after all.

“Please be nice.” Neil mumbled to me as a man in a suit came into view. 

“Good morning Mr. Allen. This is my brother who I told you about.” Neil introduced me as we approached him. He looked at me up and down with not-so subtle disgust in his eyes. I felt my blood start to boil. 

“Hello Mr. Allen.” I said in the calmest voice I could manage in the given circumstances. He had some sort of decency to cover up some of the disapproval in his eyes as he shook my hand. 

“How old are you?”

“20”

“Are you in school?”

“No sir.”

He looked at me up and down with an attempt to hide his distaste. I felt my hands start to tighten into a fist as the uncontrollable anger I always struggled with started to surge through my veins.

“If you are going to work here, I expect you to be punctual every day, do your work, and not cause any trouble with anyone or anything. Do I make myself clear?” He said as if I were some idiotic child.

“You can k-“ Neil quickly hit my lower back before I could finish the insult. I sighed. “You can rest assured that all of those will be followed through with.” 

“Good.” He said and gave Neil a slight nod before going into his office.

“Are you fucking stupid?” Neil smacked my head and walked to his station.

“He’s an asshole! He was talking to be like I was an idiot!” I said, rubbing the back of my head where he had hit me and followed him.

“He’s the man that has been allowing me to put food on your fucking plate and a roof over your head! Without him and this company we would be dead! Dammit Adam, do you know what I went through to even have him consider hiring you? Grow the fuck up.” He scolded me. 

I looked down at my feet. Nothing felt worse than having Neil mad at me or disappointed in me. I swallowed my pride. “I’m sorry Neil. I’m trying. I-I just..”

He sighed and put down the rag he was cleaning some tools with. “I just need you to help me out man. We can’t afford either of us not having this job.”

If someone were to look at me I probably would have resembled a child being scolded. “I know. I just lost it for a second. I’m trying to get better, I swear..” I whispered.

Neil opened his mouth to reply but nothing came out as some of the other workers returned to their stations. I cleared my throat and put my guard back up. I couldn’t show any weakness. They started a conversation with Neil like they always did, I assumed. Feeling unwelcome and more like a third wheel, I started walking off slowly. 

“Hold up Adam,” Neil called after me. “Sorry guys I’ll be back. I have to show my brother to his station.” They mumbled a response and Neil put a hand on my back, leading me to my new work station. 

“It’s ok. I got it.” I said when Neil offered to stay for a while to make sure I got to hang of things. 

I picked up the clipboard on the tool cart and started reading the information about the car and what needed to be fixed. It was nothing new, Neil had taught me all I needed to know about cars when I was growing up. He always had a fascination with cars and whenever things got tougher than usual and he needed to get me away from everything, one of the things he did was take me out to his car and just teach. Though I never gained the same passion he had, it was still something that helped me get away and just forget about everything else. It was nice to know I was actually good for something. 

I laid on the creeper that was on the tool cart and started rolling under the propped up car. I started inspecting the area that was giving the owner trouble and started making mental notes of the things that I needed. 

“Um Adam? Adam Lambert?” I heard an unfamiliar voice call my name. I was drawn to the slight southern accent. It wasn’t really noticeable at all but my ears picked it up. I slowly rolled out from underneath the car to see the same mystery guy I had encountered a few times before. He shocked as well to see me but he managed to push it aside.

“Yea?” I managed to get out.

“This”, he pulled out a specific envelope for me from the handful he had, “is from Mr. Allen.” 

I grabbed the envelope and couldn’t help but look at him curiously. It was a miracle he hadn’t yelled at me or freaked out from all of the times I had stared at him. It wasn’t my fault, he was just so…. new. I realized that the wall I had to keep up was slowly coming down and I quickly looked away. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” He said and gave a slight smile before turning to walk away. “Oh,” he said suddenly and walked back to me, “I just wanted to say thank you for the other night.” 

“What?” 

“For helping Megan and me.” 

“I didn’t..” I started.

He cut me off. “You did. I don’t want to think about what would’ve happened if you hadn’t intervened. So thank you.” He smiled and walked off, leaving me confused. 

“You planning on working today Mr. Lambert?” Mr. Allen asked sarcastically as he passed by. I was pulled out of my daze and set the envelope on my cart and rolled back under the car. 

* * *

The day went by quickly as I poured myself into my work and tuned everything out. Other than the disapproving looks Mr. Allen gave me each time he passed by me, everything went somewhat well. 

“Go put those away in the room over there and meet me in the car.” Neil said as he took his keys out of his pocket and made his way towards the car, wiping some sweat from his forehead due to a long day. 

 

I arched my back slightly to hear my back crack in various spots. I grabbed the box Neil instructed me to get and made my way towards a room in the back of the building. I looked to the side as I entered the room and felt my body suddenly tense in surprise when I bumped into something.

“Ow.” I looked down to see the same mystery guy sitting on his butt. I bumped into someone it turns out.

“What the fuck man.” I grumbled as I bent down to pick up the items from the box I dropped when I bumped into him.

“Oh no, please don’t strain yourself. I can help myself up.” He said sarcastically and I rolled my eyes.

“Not my fault you don’t watch where you’re going kid.” I said and carried the box to a random table. I wasn’t sure if that is where it even belonged but I just wanted to get the hell out of there.

“Ok first of all, that box goes on that shelf over there,” He pointed to the other side of the room. “Second of all, that was totally your fault. And third of all I’m not a kid. I’m not that much younger than you.”

I glared at him. “First of all,” I said mockingly, “I don’t give a fuck. You can put it over there yourself if it bothers you so much.” I turned around before he could reply and walked out of the door.

“Ok just because you’re the ‘big bad wolf’ out there doesn't mean you can get away with anything in here.” He followed me.

I turned quickly, causing him to crash into me. “And what the hell are you going to do about it?” I said, standing tall to emphasize our size difference.

He scoffed and chuckled slightly. “You don’t scare me man.”

“Oh really.” I grumbled.

“Really.” He crossed his arms

We stood there for a few seconds just staring — well glaring— at each other until the door opened.

“Come on Adam, I’m fucking hungry.” Neil groaned.

“I know, I’m going.” I said and tried to walk away before he saw the mystery guy.

“Are you fucking kidding me? You again?” He said when he saw the mystery guy.

“Let’s just go Neil.” I said and grabbed his arm, trying to pull him away and out the door. He pulled his arm out of my grasp and I groaned.

“Who the hell are you?” He asked. “What’s your name?”

The guy looked at me quickly before turning back to Neil. “Um Kris.” He said. “Kris Allen.”

“Fuck.” He whispered. I looked at Neil curiously. “I didn’t know Nick had kids.” Neil said more to himself than to Kris.

“He doesn’t. I’m his nephew.” 

It seemed as if Neil realized we were still there and quickly snapped out of his thoughts. “Let’s go.” He said. He quickly walked out of the door with me following quickly behind him.

The car ride home was awkward to say the least. I could see through the corner of my eye that he was trying very hard not to say what was on his mind. I already knew what he was going to say, but I didn’t want to hear it. I knew he was only trying to look after me. 

“Adam,” He began.

“Neil can you just drop it? Nothing happened. Nothing will happen.” I sighed, not wanting to meet his eyes.

“You like him Adam. Did you not hear him? He’s related to Nick!”

“I don’t like him! And even if i did, it wouldn’t matter. I know I can’t act on it. We’ve been over this so many fucking times.” I sighed angrily. “Besides, he has a girlfriend.”

“Alright alright.” Neil said. “I’m sorry for getting on your case. You don’t need that. How are you feeling today anyway?”

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat and looked out at our house through the window. “Fine.” I mumbled.

“Are you sure?” He asked. “Remember Adam, when it happens you need to come to me and let me help. I don't want you like that on your own.” 

“I said I’m fine Neil.” I said, annoyed and uncomfortable.

“You’re fine right now but what about all of those other times?” Neil pressed. “You have to promise me, Adam, that you’ll come to me when you feel it coming up again.”

“Okay Neil. I fucking promise. Can we just go inside now?” I asked, feeling my heart starting to race from this conversation.

I knew Neil meant well but talking about that made me uncomfortable beyond comprehension. I didn’t know what was wrong with me and it scared the hell out of me. It started off when I was younger with me just crying for no reason, well it seemed like that to the others. To me, I just couldn't control my emotions and I just started crying. I couldn't figure out why I was crying either but I felt something deep in my stomach that needed to cry. It went away for the most part for my early teen years but it started back up again when I was 16 after…. well after something happened. My ‘episodes’ as I liked to call them, because I didn’t know what else to call them, started to worsen as the days went on. 

The lack of the ability to put what I felt during these ‘episodes’ made it hard for me to go to Neil because I knew he wasn't going to understand and they only made me feel like I was crazy and alone. I didn't even understand what I felt. All I know is that it would start off by feeling like something was coming after me. I didn't know what caused this feeling, but it would just come out of the blue, as far as I knew. I didn't want to dig that deep, afraid of what I was going to find. My feet would start tapping on the floor, and my heart would start racing. An overwhelming fear would consume me and every little noise around me started to make me jump. I would start to lose feeling in my hands as my breathing quickened. Not knowing what was happening, I usually ran somewhere to be alone. 

The first time a bad ‘episode’ happened, I nearly knocked Neil out. I had been in my living room with Neil and the rest of the guys, listening to their idiotic conversations, when the feelings started.

_I didn't know if someone spiked the alcohol I was drinking with something stronger, so I stopped drinking it but the feelings didn't stop. I felt a bead of sweat start forming on my forehead, and out of panic, I ran to the nearest bathroom and locked myself in there. I slid to the floor and started breathing quicker and quicker. I prevented myself from crying much since I was a kid, but in that moment, I couldn't help the tears that flowed down my face. A knock on the door startled me even more and I scurried backwards until my back hit the wall._

__

_Neil called out my name and I put my head on my knees and cried harder. He jiggled the doorknob, getting worried that I wasn't answering the door, only adding to the fuel of my fear. Getting scared, he kicked the door in, and that set me off. My body went on survival mode and I kicked him hard when he came near me. He fell to the floor and looked at me in confusion. He tried to come near me again to try to comfort me but I couldn't think clearly. I didn't even recognize him as my mind yelled ‘danger’ as he came near me again. Not knowing what I was doing, I swung at him, my fist colliding with the side of his head. He stumbled backwards and fell once again to the floor. The ruckus caused some of the guys to go and see what happening. They just thought we were rough housing it and watched in amusement, taunting Neil for being knocked to the floor by me._

__

_My head felt like it was going to explode so I just ran out of the room, eyes blinded by tears, trying to find my room. I gripped my head as images of her filled my mind. Her lifeless body, clothes torn, blood all over, kept filling my mind and I couldn't get it out. I got to my dresser and knocked everything off, not even hearing the clatter as they fell to the floor. I grabbed my lamp and smashed it against the wall, doing anything to get these thoughts out of mind._

__

_“Adam!” Neil yelled as he entered my room to see me throwing things and crying._

____

_He approached me carefully as I fell to my knees, feeling dizzy from the lack of oxygen in my brain. He got to his knees next to me and held my face, trying to find any clues of what was happening or if I was hurt. I kept crying as he pulled me into his arms. His familiar touch sent a spark in my body, causing me to start to calm down. He rocked me back and forth as I continued to cry._

_____ _

_“It’s okay. I’m here. You’re okay.” He mumbled soothingly. “You’re going to be okay.”_

______ _ _

_I slowly cried myself to sleep without realizing it._

_______ _ _ _

_I woke up, who knows what time later, with a killer headache and my eyes were heavy, It took me a while to get them open, and I knew they were swollen. I felt my pillow under my head and sighed from the familiar feeling of my bed. After my eyed adjusted from waking up, I looked at the wall across from my bed and froze when I felt the bed move. I quickly got up, out of panic, and immediately regretted it when my whole vision got blurry and the room started spinning._

________ _ _ _ _

_“Hey easy,” I heard Neil say, as he pushed me gently onto the bed again. “Take it easy and drink some water.”_

_________ _ _ _ _ _

_I felt the rim of a cup reach my lips and I put my hand on the cup, for no reason because I knew I didn't have the strength to hold it myself, and Neil tilted it so water poured into my mouth. I didn't realize how parched I was until I took my first sip. I ended up drinking the entire cup, with the same amount of thirst I started off with._

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“Here take some pills. They’ll help with your head.” He said and handed me two pills with another cup of water._

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_He watched me patiently as I swallowed the two pills. I looked at him and he looked a mess, like he hadn't slept at all. He rubbed his eyes and sighed.  
“Are you taking drugs again?” He asked, sounding pained. “Adam fucking tell me.”_

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“No,” I said, voice sounding weak. I cleared my throat and tried again. “No I’m not.”_

_____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“Then what the hell was last night all about? Adam if you're fucking lying to me I swear-“_

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“I said I’m not!” I said angrily. “I have to go to school.”_

_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“I already called and said you weren't going. Now stay there.” He scolded. “What happened last night?”_

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_I sank back into my pillow and looked away from him. “I don't know.”_

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“You don't know?” He scoffed. “It looked like someone jacked up with whatever fucking kind of drug!”_

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“Neil I told you I wasn’t going to use anymore!” I snapped. “I don't know what happened last night. I.. I just… I don't know. Can we please just drop this?”_

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_He looked at me for a short while before sighing. “Stay in bed. I’ll make breakfast.”_

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

 

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_The second time it happened, Neil was convinced I was on drugs. It happened again three months again after we thought everything was okay again. After Neil managed to calm me down, escaping with only a few injuries, he tore my room apart trying to find whatever drug he thought I was taking. I woke up later that day and saw Neil sitting on the edge of my bed with his face in his hands._

_____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“You know I spent so much time getting you off of those damn drugs and you had gotten so much better and on the right track after….” He trailed off, knowing it would only hurt me if he continued. “And for you to go back to those habits and lie to me about it… Is there something I’m missing? Is there something I’m not seeing? Something I’m doing wrong? Tell me Adam because I-I don't know what to do anymore.”_

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_He made sure I was feeling alright before walking out of my room when I tried to explain to him that I wasn't using any drugs again. It was weird between us for a few weeks after that because I knew he was disappointed in me and he didn't know what to do. We pretended nothing happened during those weeks and soon we went back to normal. I still felt really jittery on certain days for reasons I couldn't understand but I kept it from him. I didn't want to add to his stress._

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_Over the next couple of years, Neil had realized it wasn't anything I was taking and he helped me calm down during each episode. It become almost second nature for us, but still terrifying each time for me._

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“Alright let’s go inside.” Neil said, pulling me out of my thoughts.

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We both got out of the car and made our way to the front door, with Neil walking in front of me. He suddenly stopped when he got to the door. I yawned before wondering why he was just standing there. His hand was about to grab the handle but he brought his hand back to his side before turning around to face me. He moved his head to the left, motioning for me to follow him. I followed him to the side of our house, which was blocked off by a gate, and he took us to our backyard. 

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“What are we doing?” I asked as he pulled a blanket from a box off to the side. 

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He set the blanket down on the half dead grass and laid down on it, looking up at the sky. “Come on.”

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I looked at him weirdly and slowly made my way next to him. “We haven't done this since we were kids.”

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“I know.” He said simply, putting one arm under his head as he looked at the stars.

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“So why are doing this now?” I said as I sat on the blanket next to him.

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“You talk way too much.” He chuckled. “Just lay down and look at the stars.”

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I sighed, giving in, and laid down next to him, remembering the last time we did this.

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/“He hates me!” I cried as Neil wiped the blood from my lip.

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“No he doesn’t" Neil tried to reassure me.

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“I just wanted to show him the drawing I made for him and he hit me!” I cried harder as I looked at the torn up paper on the floor next to me. “Why does dad hate me so much!”

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“Adam listen to me,” Neil said looking me in the eye. “He doesn't matter. I’m the only one who matters okay? I should be the only one you listen to.What he says is stupid. You should only care about what I think and I only care about what you think. We’re a team and everyone else can go fuck themselves. Got it?”

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I sniffled and nodded. 

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“Good.” Neil said as he finished cleaning my cut. “Now grab your extra blanket in your closet and follow me.” 

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I went to my room and grabbed my blue blanket and rushed back out to find Neil waiting for me. 

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“What are we doing?” I asked as we made our way downstairs.

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Neil turned around and put his finger to his mouth, signaling me to be quiet. We tiptoed down the stairs and managed to sneak past a group of drunk men and escaped to the backyard. Neil grabbed the blanket from my hands and spread it on the floor. He sat down and patted the floor next to him and I moved to sit next to him. He laid down and I did the same, looking at him, waiting for an explanation of what we were doing. He just looked up at the sky and I decided to do the same.

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“What if they come looking for us?” I whispered to Neil.

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“They’re too drunk out of their mind to notice where we are.” He mumbled. “Anyway, forget about them and just focus on the stars.”

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I turned my attention back to the stars and tried to figure out what I was supposed to be doing. “Neil?” I whispered.

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“What?” He responded.

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“What am I supposed to be looking at?” I asked and heard him sigh.

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“The stars.” He said. “Let them take you where you want to be.” 

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“What?”

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“The stars are like spaceships. They take you to where you want to be.”

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“Really? When can we go?” I asked.

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“Um..” He paused. “You’re chosen randomly. You know the shooting stars? That’s when someone random gets chosen to go. You just have to wait your turn.”

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“Oh. ” I mumbled. “Well can we bring a friend when we’re chosen or is there only one seat?”

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“There’s room for a friend.” He confirmed.

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“Can I take you with me?” I looked at him.

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“Yea.” He said and I smiled. “I’ll go wherever you go.”/

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“So where are you going?” Neil mumbled next to me.

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“We’re not kids. That doesn't work anymore Neil.” I said.

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“I asked where are you going.” Neil pushed. 

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I sighed and looked at the stars again. “I don’t know. Somewhere far.” 

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“Me too.”

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think! Comment/Kudos! :)


	4. New Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm alive! Sorry about disappearing! I keep wanting to rewrite my work but I know I'll end up rewriting it a million more times before I'm satisfied. So might as well share my work! I missed uploading! So here we go! Hope you enjoy!

Kris’ POV:

A knock on my door slowly woke me. I groaned into my pillow when I heard the door open. 

“Breakfast is ready. Come and eat Kristopher.” I heard my aunt say.

I turned my head to the side, opening one eye and squinted when the sunlight was too strong for my eyes to handle. I made a mental note to buy curtains for my new room ASAP. She smiled before walking back out and descended down the stairs. I put my face back into my pillow and groaned once again. I just wanted to sleep all day but the smell of food was luring me out of bed.

I slowly and literally rolled out of bed until I landed on the floor. Still half asleep, I rubbed my eyes with one hand and felt around my floor for my sweatpants. Once I put them on, I began my search for a shirt but quickly gave up. Who needs shirts anyway? 

“Oh my god Kristopher, my eyes can’t handle such nudity!” Meghan said from her seat on the countertop, eating away at freshly made pancakes.

“Someone call the police. A random girl broke into my house and stole my pancakes!” I said while rubbing my eyes.

“Oh please. Like they would believe you.” She took a bite before continuing, “I’m an angel.”

“Oh I’m sure you are.” I teased while grabbing a plate to serve my pancakes.

“Okay kids I’m off to work now.” My aunt said while grabbing her bag and folders. “Stay downstairs.” She said giving us a ‘I’m watching you’ look before walking out of the door.

I looked at Meghan who was wearing a similar confused look on her face. “…. Alright then. What was that about?” I hopped onto the counter across from her.

“I don’t know.” She said while picking at her pancakes with her fork.

“Maybe they think we’re hooking up?” I half-joked. 

“Like that’d ever happen.” She mumbled.

“Ouch. I’m not good enough for you? I’m wounded!” I said dramatically, clutching at my chest.

My smile faded away when I saw she wasn’t laughing, but instead looking somberly at her place, not eating anymore.

“Meg? Did I say something wrong? I was only joking.” I asked, concerned.

“No! No, I just…” She cleared her throat. “It’s just.. I.. It’s nothing…” She mumbled.

“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to but you can tell me anything.”

She sniffled and nodded. “I’m sorry for being weird.”

“You don’t need to apologize Meg.” I told her sincerely. 

I waited for her to respond, feeling something deep in my stomach that there was something she wasn't telling me. 

She sassily flipped her hair and I could see her coming back to her usual self. “I know.”

I laughed. “Well now I just want to watch movies all day. Care to join me m’lady?” I said bowing and holding out my hand. 

She smiled, “It would be my honor!” She curtsied. “But I’m choosing the movie!” She ran out of the room and into the living room to get the remote before I could. “Bring the pancakes!”

I chuckled and grabbed the plate of pancakes, along with some plates for us to eat. 

She smiled at me. “Ok movie day may commence!” 

* * *

 

We quickly became bored after two movies and longed for something else to do. After throwing ideas back and forth, we decided to simply go on a walk and see what adventure would find us. 

 

“What do you know about that Adam guy?” I asked a few minutes into our walk.

“Lambert?”

“Yea,” I replied, putting my hands in my pockets.

“Well.. We were friends when we were younger, much younger. It feels like a lifetime ago. He’s nothing like he was before. He was two grades above me but he always played with me at recess. He always got teased for hanging out with a first grader but he didn’t care. His friends would come along from time to time. Dani and Liz were always so nice to me..” She smiled sadly and stopped talking.

“What?” I felt like there was something missing or something she wasn’t telling.

She hesitated for a second or two. “Oh.. It’s nothing.” She said. She didn’t convince me for a second. I knew there was something she wasn’t telling me but I knew it was none of my business so I didn’t pry. 

“He would always draw me my favorite things. He was really good. For my birthday he drew me a cheetah in the jungle - Cheetahs are my favorite animals. Store that in the ‘Meghan file’ in your head-“ She said and I chuckled. “Anyway it was really good. I was so happy when he gave it to me! But of course some asshole came and tore it up and called Adam a loser. I cried and cried and I could tell he wanted to as well but instead he punched the kid and taped it back together to make me smile. I don’t even know how I remember this.” She continued and chuckled sadly. “But then we got older and he changed. I don’t blame him though. He’s been through so much. I just wish I could’ve helped him or something.” 

I nodded to myself, unsure on how to respond to that.

“Why?” She asked.

“Huh? Oh I was just wondering.” I said casually. 

“Have you talked to him?” She asked suspiciously.

“Um kind of.. He works at my uncle’s garage and let’s just say the possibility of us being friends is slim to none.” 

“What’d you do to him?” She asked curiously.

“Why do you think I did something?”

“Well he doesn’t really care for anyone but his brother. Unless you start something with him, you pretty much don’t exist to him.. So, again I ask, what’d you do to him?” 

“He was being an ass so I decided to call him out on it.” I shrugged.

“Are you crazy? You’re trying to get yourself killed, aren’t you?” She cried out. I thought she was just being overly dramatic.

“He doesn’t scare me.” I said simply.

She stopped suddenly and grabbed my shoulder to get me to stop. The look in her eye was concerning. “Kristopher, listen to me. You- You don't know what they can do or what they’ve done! He’s not the same person I just described. He’s different now. They like programmed him to be some heartless monster. Please… Just be careful around them. If you see them just walk the other way.” She said and I could see tears forming in her eyes.

I nodded. “Alright, I will. Meg don't worry.” She pulled me into a hug and I felt a few tears seep through my shirt. I didn’t understand why that provoked such a reaction out of her. 

“Meghan?” I heard someone call out from behind us. She pulled away and two girls approached us. 

“Oh good you’re here. We were about to go get you. Practice is moved to right now.” The other girl said while they looked at me suspiciously. 

“Oh okay.” She said while trying to discreetly wipe her eyes and turned to look at me with a questioning look. “Want to come? You can watch me be amazing.” 

“I’d love to. Are you sure the others won’t mind?” I asked, glancing at the girls staring at us.

“I’m sure. They love an audience.” She smiled softly.

“Okay cool. Let’s go then.” I said and we started walking with her other friends who came to get her.

They made small talk about some routines and about their instructor but I could tell they wanted to ask about me. I stayed quiet and half listened to them and looked around me. 

We finally approached a smallish white building that I passed by occasionally. They took me through the door and there was a small hallway that led to a large room with wood flooring and mirrors that took up two of the walls. Inside were six other girls in black tights and muscle shirts of various colors, some with socks and some barefoot. A lady who appeared to be the instructor looked in our direction and made her way over to me.

“Hello sir. How may I help you? Auditions aren’t open right now.” She said kindly.

“This is Kris. He’s with me.” Meghan spoke up. “I invited him to watch.” 

“Are you a dancer as well? Not that you look untrustworthy but I’m not fond of having my routines stolen from me.” She said more sternly.

“Oh um no, I’m not a dancer. The last time I attempted dancing was when I was 5 years old. You have nothing to fear about from me.” I said, earning a smile from her. “Anyway, I’m a friend of Meg’s and I wanted check this thing out.”

“I see.” She said slowly. “Well we always love an audience. I usually send them out to watch from behind that window.” She pointed to the side of her where there was a rectangular window. “But you seem harmless so you can stay in here. Any… friend of Meghan is a friend of our’s.”

“Thank you ma’am.” I smiled.

“Ma’am makes me sound so old. Name’s Jessica.” She winked and walked off.

“You’re in.” Meghan smiled. “You can sit by our bags. Use the red one if you need a cushion. I just have old clothes in there.” She said and took off her shirt, revealing her blue sports bra.

“Put on some clothes! My eyes can’t handle such nudity!” I mocked her from earlier today.

“Oh shut up.” She laughed an chucked her shirt to me.

“Alright ladies let’s begin.” Jessica announced while clapping twice to get everyone’s attention. “We have an audience today. Let’s impress him.”

I smiled and waved slightly when they all looked in my direction. 

I winced and flinched several times as I watched them perform one routine after another. I couldn’t believe they got their bodies to bend and stretch the way they did. I rubbed my legs, imagining doing the splits like one girl was. I winced again when one girl fell hard on the floor after slipping when doing a spin. To my surprise, she immediately got up and continued the routine like it was nothing. These girls were some of the strongest and toughest people I’d seen.

“What’s with that look?” Jessica said, smiling at me. “These girls are tough stuff huh?”

“Hell yea.” I said, watching them dance.

“Meghan seems fond of you. She never brings anyone from her family or friends here.” She said, the smile gone from her face as she watched Meghan practice a move with a determined look on her face.

“She’s really good.” I said, not knowing how to respond to her last comment.

“That she is. I’ve only come across very few people with the passion and drive she has. Yea, the other girls are amazing and love what they’re doing, but Meghan.. she’s something else. She lives and breathes for dance. It’s her reason to keep living.”

“Wow..” I whispered.

“She’s been through a lot.” Jessica sat next to me. “I’ve been teaching her, along with my new protégé over there, since she was a young child. I seen her at her absolute worst and I don’t ever want to see her in pain again. So let this be a warning. Hurt her, and you’ll regret it.”

“What a cliché threat.” I smiled.

“Is me murdering you in your sleep going to be cliché too?” 

“Alright alright. Now’s not the time for jokes I see. But I would never hurt her.” I said, earning an eye roll from her.

“Why do all boys sound the same?” She said.

“I’m not like other guys.” I said and chuckled. “That’s what they all say too huh?”

“Yup.”

“Well I’ve only known Meg for a little while but she’s my friend. I care about her.”

“Friend?” Jessica quizzed. “You aren’t dating?”

I looked at her. “What? No. You know guys and girls can be friends without there being any feelings of attraction.”

“Hm. Maybe you’re not like the others. But actions speak louder than words so consider yourself on probation.” She smiled.

“Wait if you’ve been teaching Meg since she was a kid.. How old are you?” I asked. “You don’t look a day over 25.”

She laughed. “Why thank you. I’m 28. I was 15 when I started teaching her and she was 5.”

“Oh that would make sense.” I said.

Meghan came over to us, trying to catch her breath. “Hope I’m not interrupting but the girls want to see if we can teach you something, Kris.” She smiled innocently.

“Oh hell no. I don’t bend that way.” I shook my head.

“Oh come on! Don’t be scared!” She said.

“Fine.” I stood up and held out a hand to help Jessica up. “But if you break my legs you better buy me new ones.”

I spent the next hour laughing, falling, and groaning. They finally had mercy on me and I laid on the floor, exhausted. 

“That wasn’t so bad huh?” Meghan said smugly as she stepped over me to get her stuff.

“I hate you.” I groaned when I got up. “I have to go to the garage like this.”

“Well it’s a good thing we made you change out of your clothes. Now you won’t stink up the place.” She laughed.

“Yea. Lucky me.” I said sarcastically. I grabbed my clothes before turning to Meghan to say, “I’ll be back. I’m going to go clean up.”

After I wiped my sweat away with a paper towel, I changed back into my clothes that I came in with and folded the clothes they lent me. 

“I’ll return these after I wash them.” I told Meghan and Jessica.

“How sweet.” Jessica smiled as she packed up her things.

“Alright. Well I need to start heading over to the garage. Where are you going right now?” I asked Meghan.

“Home to shower.” She said as we started walking. “I’ll walk with you halfway until we have to split.” 

“Cool.” I replied. “That was some hardcore stuff back here. I didn’t think dancing… what would you classify that as?”

“Contemporary.” She answered.

“Oh. Well I didn’t think dancing like that would be so hard. I have a newfound respect for you. You have a lot of talent.”

She smiled and looked away but I still saw her blush. “You’re not going to use me for my future fame are you?”

“You bet I am.” I teased and she laughed.

“Well alright this is my turn. Thanks for coming to watch and dancing. I had a lot of fun.” She smiled. 

“Anytime.” I smiled back. “Well I’ll see you later.”

“Make sure to ice your legs… and whole body.” She called out with a smirk as she walked away. 

I smiled and started walking.. well half-limping.. to the garage. I saw a rock and started kicking it just to amuse myself. I kicked it with too much force as I was passing the park area by the lake. It went into the grass so I went off my path to find it. I didn’t search long before I found it. As I was making my way back, I heard humming. Curious, I followed the noise and stopped in my tracks when I saw Adam sitting several feet ahead of me. I squinted to see what he was doing sitting against a tree and saw a notepad in his hand and a family of ducks sitting in front of him. I stepped back and seemed to frighten the ducks so they ran off back into the water.

“Damn.” He whispered and turned quickly when I made a noisy step. He looked surprised and immediately tried to shove his notepad into his jacket.

“I um..” I stammered.

“What the hell do you want kid?!” He growled. 

I knew he was lashing out because he was feeling a variety emotions from shocked to embarrassed to angry so I didn’t take it to heart.

“I’m sorry! I just heard you humming and I-I… you’re really good at drawing.” I added lamely.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He said and stood up.

I raised my eyebrows at him as if it were possible to make it seem like the past minute didn’t happen.

“So what now? Are you going to call me a fag?” He spat. I cringed at the slur. “Are you going to go off and tell people how much of a girl I am?” 

I was genuinely confused. “What? No. There’s nothing shameful about being talented at something. I mean like I play the piano…" I added awkwardly. “Plus why would I go off and talk about something that isn’t any of my business?” 

He stared at me for a short while. I hoped he was seeing that I was being honest. “Whatever.”

“Wait Adam.” I started to go after him. “I just want to start over.”

I could feel him rolling his eyes.

“Come on man.” I said.

He suddenly turned around and stopped, causing me to nearly crash into him. “What part of leaving me the fuck alone do you not understand? I don’t care about anything you say! I should have kicked your ass the first time.”

“Well why didn’t you?” I asked.

He took a step towards me that startled me for a second. “If you don't leave me alone you piece of shit, you will regret it.” He glared at me for a few seconds to prove his point before walking away.

His tone sent a shiver down my spine. “Fine. Whatever.” I said and started walking as well.

He noticed me walking behind him and glared at me.

“I need to walk this way to go to the garage.” I explained earning yet another eye roll from him. How dramatic.

I heard loud music and a screech from a car turning the corner quickly. My heart rate went up a little bit when I saw that they were part of Adam’s family, if that’s who they were. They slowed down and drove alongside Adam as they were talking to him. I tried to not look at them but I felt their eyes on me. 

“Hey how’s your bitch? I still want a piece of her.” They called out and I felt my hands clench.

“Hey fucker we’re talking to you!” Another called out when I ignored them. I could feel Adam looking at me.

Sirens whooped a few seconds later. I turned and saw a cop car approaching us.

“God dammit.” They muttered.

“What seems to be the problem here?” One officer in the passenger seat called out as they drove slowly, going the opposite way of their car. 

“Nothing.” The driver said angrily to the police.

The police officers looked at me questioningly. “We’re fine,” I said.

“Hear that? We’re fine. Just chatting.” The driver smiled sarcastically.

“I’m sure you are.” The officer said sarcastically while glaring at them. He turned to me and said, “why don’t you get going son?”

I nodded and started walking quickly towards the garage, feeling Adam’s eyes on me as I passed him. I didn’t stop walking until I got to the garage. My uncle was standing near the entrance with a clipboard in his hand, writing something. He looked up from his clipboard when he heard the door open.

“Are you okay Kris? You look a little shaken up?” He asked with concern in his eyes.

“Huh? What?” I asked a little out of breath.

I turned when I heard the door open and saw Adam walk into the garage, trying not to look at me.

“Oh. Um. Yea I’m fine.” I told my uncle but he still seemed a bit skeptical. “I’ll go in the back and continue cleaning.”

He nodded while looking at me weirdly. I smiled and quickly made my way to the back room.

I leaned against the wall and just stared at the floor for a couple seconds to get my head around what just happened. What would have happened if the police weren’t there? Would Adam have stepped in? No, why would he? He already made it clear that he did not like me and already threatened to hurt me. No. They can’t do anything to me. I shouldn’t be scared. Get it together.

I sighed and started cleaning around the back room, as one of my various job responsibilities. I turned quickly when I heard the door open. Of course it was Adam.

“For fucks sake..” I heard him mutter under his breath.

I ignored his muttering. “Oh sorry. I didn't mean to close the door. You can come in.” I said and went back to what I was doing. 

He propped the door open, like I forgot to do, and started looking through a container. “This place is a fucking mess.”

“I’m working on it.” I rolled my eyes.

He grabbed a tool from the top shelf and made his way back to his station and I relaxed. What was his problem? I hated drama or any type of problems so I just wanted to never see him again so I could just relax again. I was starting to get as tense as he always seemed to be. I didn't want an enemy so I just decided to leave him be and if I had to talk to him, I would just be nice. Niceness never hurt anyone…. right? 

 

About an hour later I heard a knock on the wall and turned to see Meghan standing there. “Hey loser.” She said and hopped backwards onto a table. 

“Hey. What are you doing here?” I asked while putting a box away. 

“I was bored and decided to come pay you a visit.” She said and swung her legs, which didn’t touch the floor. 

“Well great. Want to help me with something really quick?” I asked and she hopped down.

“Of course!” 

“Cool I have to take these boxes to my uncle. I would love your help carrying them down to his office.” I grabbed one of the boxes from the top shelf and tried to hand it to Meghan.

“You go on ahead. I can get the other box down.” She said.

“You sure? They’re pretty heavy.” I didn’t want her to hurt herself or anything in that box.

“Yes I can handle carrying a box Kristopher.” She said as if I offended her.

“Alright I’m sorry. I’ll meet you over there then.” I said and walked out of the room the same time Adam walked in. 

I knew Meghan had some sort of anger towards Adam so I took around by the doorway to wait for her and make sure nothing happened. Meghan reached to get the box and since she was shorter than I was, she had a hard time getting a firm grip on the box. She pulled it forward and moved her hands to hold it from another position but the box started to fall forward. I took a step forward to try to go help her but another pair of hands moved to save her. Adam stood behind her and stopped the box from falling on her and placed it on the table in front of her and mumbled something. She looked more surprised of him helping her than the fact that she was almost crushed by the box. She looked at him curiously and he glanced at her for a second before going back to what he was doing. She mumbled something to him and he slightly nodded his head as a sign of acknowledgement without a word or looking at her. I walked away before she grabbed the box and made her way out of the room. 

I set the box down on the extra table he had in his office and waited for her to arrive. She walked in looking confused and zoned out, deep in thought. She looked at me and smiled slightly, obviously trying to play off and ignore what had happened. 

“Here you go.” She said and set the box on the counter. 

We spent another two hours or so talking while I worked, with her helping occasionally, before I was able to call it a day and head home. Meghan was talking to my uncle and I wandered out of his office and saw Adam cleaning up his station, probably getting ready to call it a day. Before I could think about what I was doing, I was walking towards him. 

“Hey.” I said as I leaned against the small table set up. 

He looked at me surprisingly and looked around quickly before looking at me. “What?”

“It’s the end of the day and I know everyone’s dying to get out of here so I was just wondering if you needed any help cleaning up.” I said and gave him a friendly smile.

The genuine look of confusion on his face made my heart sting a little. He opened his mouth for a second before shutting it closed. He didn’t say anything for another while before looking at me and continuing cleaning up, which I took as an invitation. 

“So,” I said when the awkward silence was too much, “how old are you?” 

He stopped and looked at me. I wondered what went through his head every time he stopped to look at me like I was crazy. “20.” 

“Oh cool. I’m 18.” I said and he nodded slightly. “So you going to college?” 

He gave me a look that meant that he thought I was the dumbest person on earth. I didn’t think it was a dumb question. I just didn’t want to assume he didn’t go to college because of his life situation. 

“Kris.” I heard my uncle say suddenly, startling me. “I’m assuming Mr. Lambert here will be giving you part of his paycheck considering you’re doing the work I’m paying him to do.” 

“What? No, Nick, I was just helping him out just because.” I explained as he gave Adam a disapproving look. 

“He doesn’t need any help.” He said and I noticed Adam’s fists back in a ball by his sides. “Now go on and take Meghan home while Mr. Lambert continues his work before I have a change of heart about hiring him.” 

Meghan was standing in the background, looking concerned. Nick walked back into his office and I turned to Adam to apologize. 

“Look man, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get you in trouble. I can talk to Nick and explain—“

“Don’t bother.” He said and continued his work. 

“I—“ I started before getting cut off. 

“I get it. Just go.” He said surprisingly in a calm manner.

I nodded and walked over to Meghan. 

We walked home without saying anything. There was a lot on my mind and I could tell there was a lot on her mind as well. She kept glancing at me and looking down at her shoes when I would meet her eyes. I waited for her to say whatever was on her mind but she stayed quiet. I realized I would have to confront her about it but then we saw her parents walking up my driveway. We both looked at each other with confused expressions but continued our journey anyway.

“You’re just in time kids!” Her mom said as she took off her coat. 

“For what?” Meghan asked.

“Oh Carol invited us over for dinner. Now go on and see if she needs any help.” She said and Meghan went into the kitchen.

I stood there awkwardly while her mother studied me. “Um.. I’m Kris.” I decided to introduce myself.

“Nice to meet you Kris. I’m Janice.” She smiled at me for a little too long for comfort. 

Thankfully Nick appeared through the door and took her attention off of me.

“Evening everyone.” He greeted and we all moved into the dining room.

I moved to help my aunt and Meghan finish making the food and set the table but Nick and Meghan’s father moved me with them into the living room claiming that was “the women’s job”. I wanted to say something against that but I knew it would only cause me more trouble. I sat there while they talked about “manly things” and thought about what I was going to say to Meghan.

“Dinner’s ready.” Meghan appeared and motioned her head towards the dining room. 

I was the first to get up and practically sprinted for the dining room, pulling Meghan with me. “They’re driving me insane.”

She snorted. “Welcome to my world.” She mumbled. 

We all sat around the table eating as the adults talked about their days and the latest gossip. Meghan, again, seemed deep in thought. I glanced across the table a couple of times to try to meet her eyes and see if she was okay, but she didn’t look up. Just when I thought I was going to fall over from boredom, loud noises outside caused everyone to jump. We heard sirens pass by our house and stay not too far from us. We all got up and went to the window to see what was going on. We couldn’t see from our angle but we saw our neighbors gathering around in their front lawns so we decided to go out too.

“Should’ve known.” My uncle said in disgust.

I made my way next to him and Meghan to see what they were looking at. My body froze when I saw Adam on his knees with his hands intertwined behind his head. More of his friends or family or whoever they were to him were in the same position but I could only focus on Adam.   
“You can’t fucking do this! We were just walking for fuck’s sake!” I heard one of them say.

Adam just kneeled there in silence until he looked up and saw everyone looking at him. He glared at them as if to say for them to mind their own business. His eyes met mine and he looked… Ashamed? I didn’t know what to do other than to stare at him. What could I have done? 

“Come on Kristopher. Let’s go back inside.” Nick put his hand on my shoulder and pulled lightly to get me to move in the direction of the house. I looked at Adam for a few seconds more and gave him a small, sad half smile. He looked down and I made my way back inside. 

“See what I’ve been trying to tell you kids?” Nick said to Meghan and me. “Nothing but animals, those people. Waste of oxygen, those people. That’s why I don’t want you associating with that younger Lambert.”

“You don’t know anything about him.” I quickly came to his defense without thinking. 

I don’t know who was more shocked, me or Nick.

“Excuse me? Did you not just see what happened out there? He’s vermin!” He looked at me as if I had slapped him

“With all due respect sir,” I started, remembering I was a guest in their home, “I just wanted to say that you don’t know him or his life. It wouldn’t be fair to criticize anyone without truly knowing them.” 

“I don’t need to get to know him to know what trash he and his family are. You’ll see soon enough when you spend more time around here, Kristopher. You’ll learn not to be so naive.” He said. My aunt put her hand on his arm. 

I felt my blood boil. “He’s not-“ I started but stopped when Meghan put her hand on my arm. I looked around and saw everyone staring at me. She pulled my arm gently until I followed her into the other room.

“You okay?” She asked as she sat down.

“Yea.” I lied. She sat there, waiting for me to go on. “It just makes me angry when people are such..…”

“assholes.” She finished for me with a smile. “Yea I know. My parents are the same way. I mean, they and your uncle aren't bad people. They're just…”

“Ignorant.” I finished with a sigh.

“Yea.” She looked at me curiously. “You seem really tense.”

I rubbed my eyes. “It’s just been a weird day.”

“You just need time to adjust to being here.” She said, sinking back into the couch.

“What happened at the garage with you and Adam?” I asked when I remembered I was going to ask her about it.

“What? Oh.. He helped me and he..” She paused. “He said ‘easy tiger’.. He used to say that to me when I would almost hurt myself sometimes… Okay all the time.” She smiled. “I don't know.. I was just surprised.”

I nodded slightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave your thoughts! I love reading the comments! I'll try to respond more but do know that I read every single one of them!


	5. Old Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy!

Adam’s POV:

I glared at the asshole police yelling at me to get on my knees. It was the same old thing. I could be helping a cat out of a tree and they’d try to arrest me for ‘animal cruelty’. We were just walking down the street and they decided we looked suspicious. They forced me onto my knees and told me to interlock my hands behind my head while they ‘investigated’.

“Stop resisting arrest!” I heard one officer say as he pushed Michael onto the floor. 

I just kneeled there. There was no point in trying to fight them. It would only give them an excuse to take us in.

I stared at floor as everyone started walking out of their houses to see what the commotion was about. I didn’t care what they thought of me. I stopped caring a long time ago. No matter what I did, they would still look at me the same way, as some monster. I looked around and froze when I saw newly familiar eyes looking at me. I could feel his family glaring at me but I couldn’t focus on anything but those brown eyes. There wasn’t judgement in his eyes, but instead.. concern? I felt like complete shit having him see me like that. Nick put his hand on his shoulder and they started to go back inside. He gave me a small smile before going inside and I immediately looked down. It was like looking into a bright light, you couldn't look too long.

I felt someone grab my hand after a few more minutes of kneeling and tuning everyone out. I flinched.

“Relax. I’m just going to take these off.” Someone mumbled calmly. He took off the handcuffs that his buddy put tightly on my wrists. “There you go. Go on home Adam.” 

I turned around when he said my name. Why did he sound so familiar? 

“Alex?” I whispered in shock.

Alex was Neil’s best friend since they were in kindergarten. It always worried people, especially Alex’s parents, that a well off kid was hanging out with a ‘thug’ like Neil, but neither Alex nor Neil cared. He was like my second brother. He always looked out for me when he could and Neil trusted him with his life, as did I. They lost contact after he left around 8 years ago for college. I remember asking Neil why didn’t he go with him. I knew he could have. He graduated high school and it would make sense to want to get out of this hellhole. But he claimed it wasn’t something he wanted. He said it was a waste of time and it sounded like it would be hell.

I was shocked at how different he looked. I mean it’s obvious that he would look different after not seeing him for 8 years, but I hadn’t thought about him in years. He looked older, more built, a bit taller, with a sight beard. He looked well put together in his dark, neat uniform.

“Hey kid.” He smiled slightly, glancing around him before continuing, “Well you're not a kid anymore. Damn you grew. Almost didn't recognize you… but then I saw that scar.” He looked at me up and down.

I unconsciously grabbed my arm where my large scar was. I was 10 years old when I got it. 

 

_**I hissed in pain as I saw blood running down my upper arm.** _

_**“Come on you pussy. Get up and fight.” My uncle’s right hand man said as he egged me on.** _

_**I stayed on the floor, remembering Neil’s words: Don’t give into them. They want to see you become stupid just like they are. Don’t listen to them.** _

_**I stayed on the floor in the middle of the empty street and gripped my arm, which was quickly becoming covered with blood. I closed my eyes as I felt another streak of pain go through my body as he kicked me directly on my stomach.** _

_**“I said get up!” He yelled.** _

_**I continued to look straight in front of me as I fought tears surfacing. I gripped my arm tighter even though it made it hurt even more. I couldn't do it. Neil would be mad at me.** _

_**“You’re worthless.” He spat at me with one final kick and walked away.** _

_**I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know where Neil was. He was always there to help me and he wasn’t there. My heart started to beat faster and faster and my stomach was churning from the sight of all the blood that was pouring out of my arm.** _

_**“Adam?” I faintly heard someone call out. I couldn't focus on anything except for the blood. “Aw shit Adam.”** _

_**I started crying as soon as their hand touched me. “No.” I whimpered.** _

_**“Hey it’s just me. Don’t worry.” I finally recognized Alex’s voice. A wave of relief washed over me. “I’m not going to hurt you. Where’s the blood coming from?”** _

_**I lifted up my hand slowly, hissing from the pain, and saw more blood come out.** _

_**“Fuck.” I heard him whisper.** _

_**I saw him take off the thin jacket he was wearing, revealing a white T-shirt underneath, and he tied it around the gash. I cried out in pain as he tightened it.** _

_**“Sorry buddy. I need to stop the bleeding.” He explained as I started to cry more. “I’m going to pick you up now okay?”** _

_**“No no!” I panicked. I knew it was going to hurt me even more.** _

_**“I have to get you to a hospital! Now take a deep breath. I’ll try not to hurt you that much.” He said and positioned his arms around my body so he could pick me up without touching my injured arm too much.** _

_**“Alex stop.” I cried as the pain all over my body increased.** _

_**“There we go.” He grunted when he finally picked me up. “Where’s Neil?”** _

_**“I don’t know.” I continued to cry.** _

_**“Alright.” He said as he started walking quickly. “I’m going to take you to the hospital. But you have to stop crying okay? It’ll only make it worse.” He said in a somewhat soothing voice.** _

_**I closed my eyes and tried to take deep breaths so I could stop crying. I rested my head on his chest as he carried me bridal style and tried to keep myself calm as I started feeling lightheaded.** _

_**“Alex,” I groaned quietly.** _

_**“Hey hey,” He said immediately. “You have to stay awake. Open your eyes Adam.”** _

_**I opened my eyes and immediately felt nauseous so I closed them shut again.** _

_**“Shit.” He mumbled under his breath. “Hey Adam talk to me. What did you draw today?” He asked and I could feel him starting to run as fast he could while carrying me.** _

_**“Shhh.” I mumbled.** _

_**“No one can hear me. Don’t worry.” He said, seeming out of breath. “What did you draw?”** _

_**“I drew a bird.” I said, feeling a bit more grounded than before.” I.. I drew it for Dani.”** _

_**“Really?” He asked, seeming focused on trying to find the hospital. “What kind of bird was it?”** _

_**“A hummingbird,” I said, my eyes closed shut so I wouldn’t feel too dizzy. “It’s her favorite. We saw one on the playground so I drew it for her. She said she loved it.”** _

_**“That’s great buddy.” He said, breathing heavily from running. “Yes!” He said and I opened my eyes slowly to see a hospital.** _

_**“I don’t want to go in there.” I started to panic.** _

_**“Don’t worry. They’re going to help you. I won’t leave your side.” He breathed loudly as he finally stopped inside.** _

_**I held onto him tighter with my uninjured arm as they tried to pull me away from him.”Come on. We’re going to help you.”** _

_**They finally pried me away from him and put me on a bed with wheels. They kept telling each other different directions but I kept searching for Alex with my hand as my eyes were starting to close. Right before everything went black, I felt his hand finally hold mine.** _

__

_**I woke up later. I didn’t know how long but I could hear yelling outside of the door. My eyes kept opening slightly and then closing again as I started to wake up. My eyes struggled to adjust to the light and I took a deep breath.** _

_**“Adam?” I heard Alex’s voice. “You’re okay. They fixed your arm.”** _

_**I slowly tuned my arm and saw it bandaged. I couldn't feel the pain anymore so I forgot I was even hurt.** _

_**“I’ll be right back.” He said and got up from the seat next to my bed.** _

_**“No Alex.” I mumbled.** _

_**“I’m only going to go out the door. I’m going to get Neil.” He said and walked outside.** _

_**I could hear the yelling and the voices got clearer as I fully woke up. Neil opened the door and I could hear my dad yell, “I’m not paying for this shit. Get the fucking dumbass. I’m going home.” Alex walked in behind him and quickly shut the door. I could see the vein in his head sticking out, which I knew happened when he was really mad. My heart stopped and I started crying.** _

_**“I’m sorry Neil. Please don’t be mad. I didn’t start it.” I blubbered as I started to cry harder and harder.** _

_**He walked over to me and immediately hugged me the best way he could considering the position we were in. “shhh.” He soothed. “I’m not mad. Why would I be mad at you?”** _

_**“I’m sorry.” I continued to cry.** _

_**“Stop it Adam. This wasn’t your fault.” He said and held me tighter. “You’re okay now. I won’t let anyone hurt you now.”** _

_**I looked at Alex as he sat down with his face in his hands. He had blood all over the front of his shirt and shoulder. He finally looked up at me and I could see his eyes were slightly red.** _

_**“They’re going to keep you here for just a bit longer and then we’re going home okay?” Neil wiped the tears from my face. “I’m going to go talk to the doctor. Alex is going to stay with you.” He said and I nodded.** _

_**“How are you feeling?” Alex asked when Neil went outside.** _

_**“It doesn't hurt anymore.” I half stated and half asked.** _

_**“They must have given you a lot of pain killers.” He mumbled.** _

_**“Were you crying?” I quizzed when I kept looking at his slightly red-stained eyes.** _

_**“Huh?” He asked and rubbed his eyes. “Oh uh a little bit.”** _

_**“Are you okay?” I asked.  
“Yea. I’m okay now. I’m just very happy you’re okay.” He gave me a sad smile. ** _

 

“Yea..” I said, still in shock. “Does Neil know you're here?”

He looked to his side. “No. I just came back a few days ago. Besides, I don't think he’d want to see me. And it probably wouldn't look good to the others if I was…”

“Around thugs.” I finished for him. My jaw tensed. “It’s fine. We wouldn't want to ruin your rep.” I started to walk away.

“Adam.” He ran after me. He grabbed my arm and pulled me around. “Stop.”

“Is that an order officer?” I sneered. The feeling of betrayal and hurt was consuming me.

“Please don't do this. I wish it wasn't like this.” He said.

“Jenkins, is there a problem?” Another officer came up behind him, glaring at me.

“No.” Alex said, not taking his eyes off of me.

I looked at him one more time before turning around and making my way back home. I couldn’t believe he could just betray us like that. He became a cop, one of the people making our lives hell. He didn't even want to see us anymore. What was I going to tell Neil? I didn't want to tell him, for it would only hurt him.

I heard a car approaching me and I turned to see a cop car with Alex driving.

“Adam hold up. Let me explain.” He said before pulling over and getting out of the car.

“I don’t have time for this. Neil is going to wonder where I’m at.” I said.

“Are you going to tell him? He asked, stopping me in my tracks.

“Why do you care?” I snapped.

“Because he’s my best friend.” He sighed. “And because I didn’t leave on good terms with him.”

“What?” I asked. 

“When I left, I begged him to come with me. Thought we could take on the world together or whatever, but he said no and how he wanted to stay with you. I was stupid and scared for him so I got mad at him. I knew he wanted to go. He wanted to go so bad. I told him he was throwing away his life by staying here with you.”

“Wow thanks.” I rolled my eyes.

“I didn’t mean it. I swear I didn’t. I was just angry.” He explained. “He was pissed at me and I left without looking back. I didn’t even say bye to him. God he must hate me.” He whispered.

“He never told me that.” I said, looking down.

“That’s not surprising. He didn’t want you to feel guilty, but you did anyway didn’t you?” He asked, but he already knew the answer.

I ignored his question. “Aren’t they going to be looking for you back at the station?”

“No I’m off duty now.” He said.

I looked up and down at his uniform, still not believing he was one of them. “Why the police? Was that to get back at him?”

“No!” He seemed offended. “I know you guys have problems with them.. with us, I mean. I know they can be assholes. I wanted to prove that we’re not all bad. And I just want to help people. I didn’t know where I would be assigned but I hoped it would be here so I can keep an eye on you guys. I would never turn my back on you guys because of your situation. You guys mean everything to me. I hoped you guys would have found a way out of here. I prayed every night.”

“Guess you didn’t pray hard enough.” I mumbled. “I have to go now or else Neil will give me another lecture.”

“He was always good at those.” Alex smiled sadly. “Stay safe Adam.”

“Yea sure..” I said before walking away.

I finally made it back home, spending the entire trip debating whether I should tell Neil. Knowing the full story made it hard to make the decision. But as soon as I saw his face, I knew I wasn't going to be able to keep it from him. We didn’t keep anything from each other. Well that’s what I thought. I wondered what else he was keeping from me for the sake of not hurting me.

“Where the hell have you been?! I was just about to go look for you.” Neil said when I approached the driveway. “They got back 20 minutes ago!”

“I um got caught up with something on the way home.” I said.

He stared at me, seeming to be reading the obvious expression on my face. I had an excellent poker face, but it always broke with him.

“What happened?” He asked after a little while.

“Um.. I saw..” I cleared my throat.

“Saw what?” He pushed.

“Alex..” I said.

His face fell slightly and I could tell he was trying to hide his reaction. “What?”

“He’s back.. He’s a cop now.” I said, watching his expression carefully. “We got detained for no fucking reason on our way back home and he.. he let me go.” 

His mouth opened slightly, trying to find the words to say. “What did he say? Did he recognize you?”

“Yea, he saw my scar. We talked. That’s why I’m late.” I said, feeling uncomfortable. “He told me what happened when he left. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

“That you wanted to go with him. He said you wanted to go so bad. Why didn't you go?”

“It wouldn't have been that simple, Adam. I wasn't just going to leave you here. And I wouldn't have been able to afford to take you with me.” He sighed.

“You should've just left me here Neil! What the hell were you thinking? You could've been doing something great right now.”

“Shut the fuck up Adam. You really think I would have fucking left you here? With them?!” He started to raise his voice.

“You could have gone and made something of yourself and came back to get me!” 

“If the roles were reversed, would you have left me?” He said angrily.

“It’s not the same thing.” I mumbled.

“If I would have left you here, you would have been either as stupid as the rest of them with no way of changing or dead! Do you really think they would have given one fuck about you to keep you safe?! Do you not remember how you got that damn scar?!” He shouted, leaving me speechless. “It’s my job to protect you. I couldn't have left you here to die. I wouldn't be able to live with myself. We’re safer together. So I don't want to hear another word about this come out of your damn mouth! Are we clear?!”

I sighed softly, not knowing what else to say to him.

“I don’t regret staying with you. I never did and I never will.” He said softly.

“Alright.” I said.

“Now let’s go inside.” Neil sighed.

“Do you hate him?” I asked.

“What?” He sighed, seeming tired of talking about this.

“He said he doesn't think you want to see him because he’s sure you hate him.” 

“I don’t hate him. I couldn’t.” He replied.   
“If you see him, are you going to say something to him?” I asked as we were climbing the stairs.

“Go to sleep.” He said and went to his room. 

 

~ ~ ~

The next morning I woke up to my fairly new routine: Neil waking me up, getting ready, eating breakfast he prepared, and off to work. I was feeling anxious walking to work with Neil. A part of me wanted to see him or have some sort of confrontation with him but another part was scared of that happening. A part of our past that I spent so much time and energy trying to keep away was catching up to me and I was scared of what else this could include. I never thought seeing him again was a possibility. What else was going to come up? I kept looking all around me for police cars to pass by, and I could tell Neil was feeling on edge too but he didn’t want to show it. He kept walking, looking straight ahead, but I know he wanted to be looking around for him like I was. 

“Adam knock it off.” He mumbled.

“What?” I tried to sound innocent.

“You’re looking for him. Stop it.” He sighed. “Get your head straight so you won’t get fired today.”

“Alright alright.” I said as we entered the garage.

As I was on my way to my station, Nick called out, “Mr. Lambert, I need to have a word with you in my office.”

I slowly put down my clipboard in confusion and looked at Neil concerned.

“Today, Mr. Lambert.” He said sternly and walked into his office. 

I walked over, feeling Neil’s concerned eyes watching me. I walked in and saw his nephew placing a box down and saying something to Nick.

“Give us a minute Kristopher.” Nick said, looking straight at me.

Kristopher nodded and looked at me as he was leaving. Although I refused to look at him, I could feel his eyes on me until he shut the door. My heart was beating quickly, against my will.

“I saw what happened last night.” He started. “Now I have every reason to fire you right now. I will not have my company’s name be tarnished by your uncivil behavior. Do you understand me?”

I could feel my blood boiling. “Last night was-“

He cut me off. “I do not what to hear any excuses come out of your mouth. I saw what happened. I told you from the moment I made the mistake of hiring you that I didn’t want any problems.”

I knew that was it. I was going to be fired and it would be back to square one with Neil working way too much to be healthy just to keep us alive.

“However, because, and ONLY because Jefferey is going to be gone for a while and I can’t afford to lose any workers right, you will get to stay. If you give me ANY reason to fire you, God help me, I will fire you. I don't care if I will have to pick up your slack, I don’t want someone like you to be messing up my company. Consider yourself on probation. You must be familiar with that, I assume.” He said.

I don’t know if it was the thought of Neil working more than he should and being absolutely miserable, but I bit my tongue and simply nodded. I don't know who was more shocked at my lack of anger, me or him. 

“Good. Now as part as your probation, after you are done with your current assignment, my nephew needs assistance cleaning out the entire backroom. You are not to distract him from his job. You will listen to him and do anything he needs you to do. You will have today, tomorrow, and the day after that to complete this. I will be inspecting it on the morning of the fourth day. Am I clear?”

My blood ran cold at the thought of having to work with him closely for a few days. I hesitated for a few seconds before responding, “Yes sir.” 

He nodded and gestured for me to leave and returned to the paperwork that was on his desk. 

I walked out of his office, shutting the door on my way out, only to walk into Neil who was not so discreetly waiting by the door.

I gasped quietly in shock. “Jesus Neil! Are you trying to kill me?”

“What happened? What did he say?” He asked, ignoring the fact that he scared me.

“Come on.” I said pulling him away from the door just in case he would be able to hear me. “He saw what happened last night and he said he would have fired me but some guy is leaving so he needs me here, but if I give him any trouble he’ll fire me. He also said I’m on probation and I need to help that guy clean the back and he’s going to check to see if I did the job right.” I rolled my eyes.

“Well that’s good! You still have a chance.” Neil said with a sigh of relief.

“Yea it’s great.” I said sarcastically. “Now I have to go finish this car before he comes out and yells at me.” 

I walked over to my station and tried to do what I normally did, blocked out everything else around me and focus on this car. I tried and tried but it wasn’t working like it did before. I was on edge about having to work with him. He scared me. I didn’t know why but he did. I didn’t know what to expect from him, considering everything I thought about him ended up being wrong every time. 

As much as I wanted to put off going to the back room, I knew I would have to eventually and I couldn’t give Nick any reason to fire me. I put set the rag I was holding to clean my hands on the cart with a bit more force than necessary. Here goes nothing.

I walked into the back room and saw him writing something down. I walked in, not knowing what to say. Thankfully, he saw me through the corner of his eye and turned towards me. 

“Hey!” He said. “I appreciate your help.” He said.

I didn’t know what to say so I simply nodded.

“Alright. Well let’s get to work.” He said, walking to a corner of the room. “Okay so I want to start here. We need to take all of these boxes and containers off the shelves and put them here.” He gestured to the table. “Then we need to move the shelves and clean back there. Then clean everything in the containers and then finally put them back on the shelves. I just need to finish taking inventory of that shelf over there and once I’m done, I’ll come help you out.” 

“Okay,” I mumbled and started taking boxes off the shelves. 

He didn’t seem to notice the tension I was feeling in the room. My senses were drawn to him for every movement he did. I tried to focus on the job at hand but I kept waiting for him to come help me; not because I needed help, but because I wanted to be near him. I knew I shouldn’t. Hell, I fought with Neil over this, telling him I didn’t like him. I told myself repeatedly that he was not something I should or could want. I scoffed at myself mentally. I didn’t even know him that well yet he set my skin on fire. Could this mean something? Why was I reacting this way?

“Hey.” He said, appearing out nowhere. 

I jumped slightly and almost dropped the box I was holding. I turned to see an amused look on his face that he was unsuccessfully attempting to hide.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. Although I should’ve made some sort of announcement considering how deep in thought you were.” He said and reached for a box on the shelf in front of us.

I followed his lead and set the box I was holding on the table next to his. I watched him cautiously as we kept bringing down boxes.

“I just want to say sorry for how my uncle has been treating you. I wish I could explain why he acts the way he does. Close-mindedness, I guess.” He shrugged.

“Hm,” was all I replied. 

“And now that we’re on the topic of apologizing, I want to say sorry that we got off on the wrong foot.” He paused before continuing, “Given the fact that we’re going to be together for a few days, I want to start over. What do you say?”

I looked at him for a second and then continued to work. I didn’t know what his angle was and quite frankly, I didn’t know how to react. He sighed and kept working alongside me.  
“Alright then.” He said. “We can continue this talk whenever you’re ready to talk.”

“Don’t talk to me like that.” I snapped.

He looked surprised but quickly recovered. “Like what?”

“Like I’m some fucking kid or like you’re my shrink. I don’t need to have some kumbaya moment. I’m not here to make friends. I’m here to do my job and that’s it.” I said, looking at him sternly.

“I wasn’t trying to patronize you.” He looked at me carefully.

“Then why are the fuck are you looking at me like that?” I started getting angrier.

“I’m just trying to figure you out.”

“Well stop it!” I raised my voice. I was scared. “I don't need you figuring me out or trying to do anything that involves me. Just leave me alone or you’ll regret it.”

He kept looking at me and I felt small but I stood my ground. He wasn't scared of me nor was he backing down. Why wasn’t he scared of me? He stared at me, analyzing my face before nodding slowly. 

“Whatever you say.” He said but I could tell that wasn’t going to be the end of it. “Let’s hurry and take down the rest of the boxes so we can move the shelf.”

I took a deep breath and did what he said. I felt uneasy the rest of the time. I felt exposed and vulnerable any time he looked at me. I never felt that way before and I was confused of why he was able to make me feel like that. He was no one important so why did he have that effect on me?

A few hours later we stopped. “Well alright. We’re done for today. See you tomorrow.” He said while wiping his hand with a rag.

I nodded and walked out of the room. Neil was waiting for me at his station as I grabbed my jacket clumsily, eager to leave. I felt Neil’s eyes on my every move and I just walked past him, gesturing that we should go home. 

“What is up with you?” He asked after a minute of silence.

“Noth—“ I paused and stopped at the sight infront of me. 

I looked at Neil and he looked pale. I wanted to tell him something.. anything.. to make him feel better but I knew there was nothing I could do. He had to go through it in order to move on. Whether a good or bad outcome would occur was another story.

I looked in front of us again and noticed that Alex saw us too. He looked like he was tripping over his words when talking to another officer. The other cop surely noticed and looked at us before looking at Alex confused. 

“Come on Neil.” I said and urged him to keep walking. 

Alex kept talking to his partner but kept glancing at us, well at Neil more specifically. I knew he couldn't just walk over to us and have a big moment with Neil without causing some suspicion. I knew Neil was in pain so I urged him to keep walking until we passed Alex. 

He was staring at the floor in confusion and the color was still drained from his face. I grabbed him by his arm and pulled him to sit down on the grass next to us. Nothing I could have said would have made him feel better so I waited for him to speak.

After a few minutes he finally spoke. “You know when you said he was back… I almost didn't believe you. I-I guess… He really is back. He looks good. He did it.” He let out a slight sad laugh. “The son of a bitch did it. I’m happy for him.”

“Neil—“

“No. I really am. He’s doing well and that’s all I ever wanted for him.. but..” He paused.

“You wish that were you too.” I finished for him.

“Yea..” He sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think in the comments!


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